The bright light shined through the windows. Leah was up. The triplets were at school. Mark greeted me with a cup of hot chocolate.
Leah: I'm surprized your up.
Me: Why you say that?
Leah: Well after Hannahkins little inncident you couldn't go back to sleep and you were like blah blah. And I was like hey Sandy shut the fuck up! And you kept on talking about how in Florida it was soooooo much simpler.
Me: Yeah well it was.
Leah gave me a big hug. I finished up my food and tried to balance Danielle while moving on crutches. I fed her, bathed her, changed her. Phew! I took a shower. I changed into a pair of leggings, a pink belted tanktop, a cow girl BOOT. Since I got my cast off yesterday I'm in a walking boot. Not that bad. :/ Still ugly. I took Danielle for a walk. I ended up going a little too south. -.- I immediately started turning. Someone was making their way towards me. My turn to walk even faster.
Nicole: Oh my God SANDY!!!!!!!!
There was Nicole. Wearing a low cut yellow frilly tanktop, Daisy Duke denim shorts, and vintage cowgirl boots. Behind her was Sam and Ava. Ava was simple. Not whoreish attire like Nicole. ;). She had on a white tight tanktop, jeggings, and gold cork wedges. They looked hot. Tan. Sighh. Sam looked sooooo uncomfortable in his jeans, a white teeshirt, gray sweatshirt, and his worn out Nike's. I felt as uncomfortable as him. We stood and looked at eachother. I didn't know if I wanted to chop his balls off or kiss him.
Nicole: Well I'm here to break the silence! I moved here on this part of town. Ava moved on this side too. And Sam bought an apartment. We moved near you! We can't live without our little Sandykins!
She pinched my cheeks. I just checked on Danielle. She was asleep with a bottle clutched in her arms.
Me: Great just great.
Ava: Don't be rude show us around! Catch up!
Me: I wish I could. But uhm I have to like go eat.
Nicole: We'll take you out!
Me: Ughhh fine.
We went to an expensive place. I rocked Danielle back and forth with my good foot. I reapplied more lipgloss. Over my menu I stole looks at Sam. He was shaking his leg. As we settled on our orders and discussed my car accident. Fun! NOT! Ava and Nicole said they had to go to the bathroom. Just left me and Sam.
Sam: I know I'm probably the last person you would want to see right now but. Sandy I still have really deep, intense, feelings for you. I don't know if you feel the same way. And I was drunk when I called you those names. Leaving you was the stupidest thing I ever did. And not being the father of your baby. I mean twins. Is even worse.
Didn't excpect that. I wanted to look right into his blue/green eyes and kiss him. I can't deny I still don't have feelings for him.
Me: Sam... I still have feelings for you too. But I can't just jump around in relationships like this. As much as I want Danielle to have a real father and these... babies. I just can't it's not fair for Danielle. And I would be lying saying I didn't have feelings for you.
We stared at eachother. He stared into my light blue eyes. I stared into his blue/green eyes. I wanted to kiss him. We left the restaurant. I went home with Danielle. I came home and plopped down on my bed. I screamed into my pillow. Danielle was sound asleep next door didn't want to wake her up. I was soooooooo confused. I feel horrible for Danielle not being able to ever have a father. I'm sorry sweetie I was 15 and drunk. I had you at 16. You know your father knocked me up. He didn't want you. He told me to go fuck myself. And you would have had a good father if I wasn't a whore and didn't cheat on him. Yeah say that to a 2 year old. All you would get is a what? And the smile. I started kicking like I did after I threw a shitfit. Why the fuck did Sam have to move here? Mark came in. I threw a pillow at him. All I need is Mark telling me I'm a whore. Already knew that. If I was younger I would have gone to my mom. She's gone. How come whenever you get close to someone they die? I took off my walking boot. I traced my fingers over my scares. I traced my fingers over my tattoo. Danielle Grace 1/23. I got that after she was born. I had another tattoo. A trampstamp. Angel wings. My motto when I got it: It's all about the teasing not about the pleasing. I was probably stoned when I got that one. I have a rose on my ankle, angel wings on my lower back, Danielle's birth thingy on my foot area, and a heart on my collarbone. Also on my upper back. Tiny one. Says Sandy with a heart. Stupid youth. Just like getting knocked up. My phone buzzed. It was Sam. I threw my phone. Yeah I really want to talk to him. :/. Outside was sunset. I grabbed my crutches. Too lazy to put my cast on. I watched the sunset. I closed my eyes. I looked at my phone.
Sam: I know we still like eachother. So what about another try?
Me: Call me when I'm mentally stable for a relationship.
Sam: Just remember I will be waiting for you.
Talk about strong words. Leah came outside and laid down with me. Normally I would have started shaking the hammock so she would go flying off. But I didn't.
Me: Leah you know how I always say I hate you. And you're a slut. I only say that cuz I love you. I love how you've been through my side through everthing. Thanks.
She gave me a hug. I txted Sam back.
Me: Sounds like a plan. ;)
Sam: <3
<3 Sandy
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