Haven't Felt This Way In A While

I skipped into the kitchen. Everyone was asleep. And I'm hoping Mark doesn't wake up and find out about his boat XD. I got out 2 packs of bacon and started grilling them. I made some chocolate chip pancakes. And some regular coffee. Mark's favorite breakfast. The baby monitor started whining. I darted into Danielle's room before she woke anyone up. I set her down. I looked at my phone 20 new voice mails:
Soda: I told her and I don't know what to do.
Soda: Call me I need your help!
And so on and so on. I didn't really pay any attention until the last voicemail.
Justin: Hey I had a really great time the other night so do you want to go out again?
I squealed in delight. I haven't felt this way since Sam. :/ I cringed at the thought of that bastard. I heard someone waking up I set breakfast up. I have to call Soda he needs me right now. But I WILL call Justin now matter what. Mark groggily walked into the kitchen. He had the scruffy look going on. He wore just a pair of striped Calvin Klein boxers. Not such a pretty sight for me. XD. Mark rubbed his eyes. And smiled at his favorite breakfast. He didn't say a word but he just sat down and ate. Leah sleep walked in. Wearing nothing but a Tiffany box blue pushup bra, matching flimsy camisole, matching boy shorts, and white bunny slippers. 5 year old at heart. She opened her eyes. She sat down and started eating. I fed Danielle a forkful of pancakes. I really don't feel like bathing Danielle covered in pancakes and bacon. I watched Leah stuff her face. We were both cheerleaders and gymnasts. But she never did dance. But she has the same frame as me. Kinda tall around 5 ft 7. (Me 5ft 5) She's lean, I'm (was) beyond skinny. Leah weighs about 115. Me 100
-.- Small frame. But I have (had) curves. Thanks for that. We represent the perfect cheerleaders, gymnasts, and dancer. Mark's a different story. Mark could weigh about 200 pounds. But not an ounce of fat on him. He is all muscle from football. He polished off 5 pancakes and 9 strips of bacon. Light breakfast for him. He worked on his bowl of Wheaties. Leah ate 3 pancakes and 5 strips of bacon. She worked on her Poptart. I ate 6 pancakes and 7 strips of bacon. Well I'm pregnant I gotta eat! Mark cleared his throat.
Mark: It's a nice day outside. How about we all go on the boat and take if for a spin?
I froze as I nibbled on my 8th piece of bacon. I knew I had to get this over with. I knew I had to bring out my secret weapon. Waterworks.
Me: About the boat. Well I kinda borrowed it. I went on a date with a guy named Justin. And the engine kinda broke.
Mark: WHAT THE?!?!
Leah motioned towards Danielle feeding a forkful of pancakes to herself. I cried.
Me: Mark have you thought about what I'm going through? How I gained like 20 pounds in a month. How I'm knocked up with my ex's baby?! I wanted to have fun. And you know what I really like this guy. I haven't felt this way in a while. I never felt this way around Sam. I was desperate around Sam and needed a boy toy. But I haven't felt this way since Sodapop. So please just let me be.
Mark glanced at my tear stained face. He nodded. The waterworks always work. :P. I fixed my blue and black polkadot pants. That of course Leah had to buy in a large from Victoria's Secret. And as a joke they say Sleep With Me. Bitch. I fixed my pink and blue tyedye peacesign tanktop. From a Pea In A Pod. Translation: Maternity Store. I put my plate in the sink. I went outside to get the mail. I skimmed through it. Junk, junk, junk, and ohhh something for me! It was in a white envelope. With pink cursive writing. My FULL name accross the top. Sandy Quinn Davis. I opened it up. MY FIRST PAYCHECK! It had the days I worked Monday-Saturday. It contained about 1,600 dollars! I squealed. I looked through more mail. I stopped at an envelope. Our full names written accross the top. Mark Noah Davis, Leah Brittany Davis, and Sandy Quinn Davis. It was from cousin Victoria. Or now Tori. It simply said that she is visiting us in a month. I cringed at the thought. Cousin Victoria. The perfect devil. She will act like an angel around parents and when they leave she rips the head off your favorite Barbie doll right in front of your eyes. I stuffed the envelope in my bra. They don't have to know about her visit. I danced back into the house. I showed Mark my paycheck. He simply just took it!
Me: Mark!
Mark: That's the money I will use for my new yacht. Because you broke my crappy old boat. Thanks Sand.
I stuck my tounge out and grabbed Danielle. I bathed her and dressed her. Just last week she got pottytrained! Growing up too fast. I took a shower and got dressed. I put on a white empire waist dress. With a thin gold belt. I put on a pair of gold of gold gladiator sandals. I was too lazy to do anything special with my hair so I put it up in a side ponytail. I put on a pair of hoops. Wow do I look hot for being knocked up! I reached for my phone. I had to get the pain overwith so I called Soda. He answered on the first ring.
Soda: Hey.
His voice was shaky. I could tell when he is crying. Pain overwhelmed me. The tears that streamed down his face when I said it wasn't his. The tears and arms wrapped around me when I said I was leaving.
Me: Uhm hey you called. A lot and left voicemails.
Soda: Yeah.
Me: What do you want to talk about?
Soda: I can't really talk. Can you come over?
Me: Sure.
I fixed my dress. Damn it focused on my baby bump. Mark and Leah were both at the boat shop. I had to bring Danielle. I got into my Volvo. I drove to his house. I walked in carrying Danielle. He knows I don't bring Danielle to any Greaser homes. Especially my ex who thought he was the father of Danielle. And now is the father of unborn-baby-no-name. Danielle was asleep in my arms. So we went to the couch and I set her down in her stroller. He looked at me scanning my outfit. I looked like a pregnant goddess.
Soda: I told Katie.
Me: Yeah I know.
He broke down.
Soda: I don't know what to do.
I put my arm around him in a nurturing way.
Me: Try being in my shoes for a day. Then you know how it feels. Everyone takes your side over mine. Everyone thinks I'm a hoe.
We both cried. I should have worn waterproof mascara. As mascara tears dripped down my face. I wiped them trying not to smudge them. Then Katie stepped out. I haven't seen her outside of the dance studio. She looked like a zombie. Huge bags under her eyes. A fluffy pink bathrobe and matching pants. I saw her baby bump too.
Katie: Oh great! The hoe is here! Hey thanks for being a hoe and not being able to keep your legs closed.
I cried and tears spilled down my face.
Soda: Katie. Don't.
Katie: Coming from the manwhore. You know you guys are perfect for eachother. Your both low class skanks. Rot in hell.
I cried harder. I grabbed Danielle and ran out of the house. I strapped Danielle in her carseat. I cried into the steering wheel. I haven't cried this hard since mom had to come and follow me after school in my car.
I grabbed my binder and put it over my cheerleading uniform. It was pouring outside. I just told Soda I was pregnant. My mom overheard me say it to him in the hallway. She followed me into my car. She told me I was a low class skank for getting knocked up.
I was a retard and forgot to unlock the door. Soda came in.
Me: Get out.
Soda: Really? I'm sorry about Katie. She hates me for cheating on her. And especially for getting my ex knocked up.
Me: Please just get out.
He respected my wishes. I got out my phone and called Justin.
Justin: Hey.
Me: Can you come over?
Justin: Sure.
I locked the doors and speeded to the house. I put Danielle in her crib asleep. I went into the bathroom and fixed my makeup. The only thing that could make me better is seeing Justin. He texted me saying that he can't get a sitter so he had to bring his son. He came in. His son was asleep in his arms.
Me: If you need to put him in a crib I have. Danielle has a reallly huge crib.
He smiled and put him with Danielle. We sat down on the couch.
Justin: What's wrong?
I broke down and cried in his (really beyond buff) arms. He stroked my hair.
Me: I'm a hoe.
Justin: No you're not! Yeah sure you made a couple of stupid mistakes. But I like the Sandy who doesn't let anything get in her way. Especially an unplanned pregnancy.
I grinned. We gazed into eachother's eyes. We scooted in closer and closer until our lips met. We kissed again and again. We eventually broke apart smiling goofily. Like I said I haven't felt this way in a while. We found some movies. We agreed on House Bunny. We cuddled on the couch. Threw popcorn at eachother. Made out. Ate more popcorn. Made out somemore. He looked me in the eyes and I looked him in his brown eyes that I love. Once again our lips met eachother.
;) Sandy

Me and Justin :D

Ohh Boy Just My Luck

I opened my eyes. I opened my phone. It was only 8:30 and I had missed calls already. It was from the dance studio I got offered a job at. I dialed the number.
Nicolette: Tulsa School of Dance?
Me: Hi this is Sandy Davis may I speak with Nicolette.
Nicolette: Speaking.
Me: Hi uhm you called me? So I will like to take the position as a ballet teacher.
Nicolette: Very well you shall begin today at 11.
Me: Thank you so much! Uhm how much does it pay?
Nicolette: 50 dollars an hour for 6 hours working. And you teach 3 different classes with 2 instructors.
Me: Okay thank you bye.
I hung up then that feeling bubbled in my stomache. This baby knows time managment. I have morning sickness presicley at 8:40 every morning. I wiped my mouth and brushed my teeth. I went to Danielle's room and she was still sleeping. I'll wait til she starts crying. I looked in my jacket pocket and I still had Mark's credit card in my pocket. ;) I started making chocolate chip pancakes. I ate 3 with a glass of chocolate milk. I got changed into a navy blue dress with a matching navy blue and white stripped shall with matching flats. I grabbed my sailor pea coat and only 2 of the 6 buttons buttoned. And they were tight. I left a note saying that I had to buy ballet clothes. I'll be back soon. I rushed to my car feeling the frigid air biting at my cheeks. I'm afraid to say that now I'm a size 4. I had to buy a tutu. It's ballet after all. I bought my dance clothes. I bought another pair of pointe shoes. I bought everything I needed then headed back to my car. I rushed into the house changing into my dance clothes. I put my hair into my messy ballerina bun. I was out the door in less than 5 minutes. I knew exactally where the dance studio is. I walked in. They pointed me towards the studio. I saw a familliar face. Soda's wife Katie. I immediately turned around pretending to tie my pointe shoes. I felt embarrassed. Kids poured into the room. It was the first day of a new semester.
Me: Hi everyone I'm.... Sandy! Let's go around the room saying our names how old we are and an interesting thing about ourselves how about you first?
I pointed to Katie and immediatley noticed the hatred in her eyes.
Katie: Hi I'm Katie I'm 19 almost 20 years old. The interesting thing about me is.... I'm excpecting a baby.
They went around the room until they got to me.
Me: Hi I'm Sandy! I just turned 18 years old last month. The interesting thing about me is that in highschool I was the cheerleading captain. I won all the national titles. And I was the dance team captain I also brought the team to victory. I did ballet.
Everyone ooed and ahhed. I was tempted to say that. Hey I'm knocked up with her husband's kid too! I demonstrated pillets and leaps. I held their legs and made sure their toes were pointed. After I was done I ran out. I know I'm a better dancer than Katie. She's good but not that good. I felt sick. I laid on my bed. Good thing Mark paid for every thing. I felt sore from ballet. But I didn't do anything too hard. Maybe it's the baby.
Me: LEAH GO GIVE ME A FOOT MASSAGE! AND BRING DANIELLE AND GET ME SOME FOOD!
Leah: Damn you're needy.
She came in holding everything I asked for. She handed me Danielle and she played with my hair. She rubbed my sensitive pregnant feet. I started eating my food and fed some to Danielle.
Me: Danielle, do you want to play patty-cake with mommy?
Danielle: Yes
God she's adorable. We played then Leah came and tickled her.
Me: Hey Leah I didn't say you could take a break. Keep rubbing.
Leah: God I need a life. Any single guys in the gang?
Me: Yeah go find a guy let him break your heart. Go get beyond wasted. Then go sleep with your ex. Then get knocked up.
Leah was silent. She knows I'm miserable. She hugged me.
Leah: Mark's getting icecream.
I threw a pillow at her. I legit wasn't in the mood for anything. I held my expanding stomache. God I'm a fat cow. Mark came in and got my favorite mint chocolate chip. He got Leah peanut butter swirl. He got Danielle strawberry. We ate our icecreams. We laughed and talked about childhood moments. I started crying when Mark brought up when mom and dad kicked me out of the house. I cried harder when Soda called. I pressed ignore.
Mark: How about we leave Sandy alone? She's allowed to be hormonal. She had a tough day.
I love Mark. He loves Danielle and unborn baby no name. I remember when I told Mark I was pregnant.
I ran out from cheerleading practice. Clutching my binder to my chest. Mark was scared. I told him I was pregnant. I cried and he held me like he did when I was little and scraped my knees. When I was 9 months pregnant Mark visited me. He told me he loves me and the baby. He hugged me and put his hand on my fat belly. Grandma took a picture for a scrapbook.
I laid awake looking at the baby name book. Eventually I fell asleep. Maybe I'm feeling a little better. But I'm still fat. Nothing can change that until I have the baby.
XOXO  Sandy

Me and Mark in Florida. Grandma's scrapbook pic. And while I'm at it that is a sexy pregnant belly :P

Hey single guys! Leah is on the market. She's 19 years old and loves to have a good time ;)

F.M.L

I found out who I slept with the other day. It was my ex. I'm still trying to move on. I laid on my bed. Crying into a pillow. I drank 23 shots. If I drink 9 or more I'm completely wasted. I drank all type of liquor. I was depressed I just broke up with the love of my life. My phone buzzed. Freakin calendar appointment. I opened it. One word. One word can ruin your life all over again. It said Period. Oh shit am I late? I cried harder. Oh God I can't be pregnant! With my exe's kid! Sam and I used condoms. SHIT! There's only one option to do. I dialed his number.
Soda: Hello?
It sounded like he was crying. For feeling like a man whore. But he doesn't have to go through hell.
Me: Hi it's Sandy.
Soda: H-hi.
Me: We might have a problem.
Soda: What is it?
Me: Uhm did you sleep with me last week? Because Steve told me I had a I'm A Single Bitch Party. I was beyond wasted. Guys did body shots off me. I drank 23 shots, a whole bottle of champane. and 13 bottles of beer.
He made crying sounds. It was last week for God's sake.
Soda: Ya.
I cried so hard.
Me: Did you use protection?
Soda: No.
I cried harder.
Soda: Did you miss your uhm period?
Me: Yes. It is freakin 5 days late!
Soda: Shit I'm fucked. I knocked up 2 fuckin girls.
Me: Why are you making this about you?! Have you thought about I have a 2 year old, I'm battling bulimia, and I don't have a boyfriend. I can't go through another pregnancy.
Soda: Can you come over?
Me: Ya.
I took a shower. I put on jeans and a cardigan. I ran over to the pharmacy to buy a pregnancy test. I drove over to his house. Feeling like the biggest slut in the world. He answered the door looking like a fuckin mess. I walked in. He noticed the pregnancy test. I just got offered a ballet teacher job. And a gymnastics teacher job. Can't do that knocked up.
Me: Why did you sleep with me?
Soda: I thought you were my-my wife. I had a lot to drink and you were really hot.
He cried.
Me: Have you thought about the consequences for me? I got offered a high paid jobs. A ballet teacher and a gymnastics teacher. I'm just barely surriving raising me and Danielle. I had help from my grandparents. You think Bob wanted to help raise her? NO!
Soda: Please just take the test.
I went to the bathroom and took the three tests in the box. I waited three minutes which seemed like a decade. Soda came in. On all three tests it read one word that made us both cry. PREGNANT. I found a Greaser that I actually liked. He will remain nameless. It's not Soda!
Me: How am I supposed to raise 2 kids?
I blubbered. My dad was right I'm a slut who couldn't keep her legs closed. He didn't answer he just cried. Now he was 2 kids on the way.
Me: I'm making an appointment with the doctor to legit find out if I'm pregnant. I'm not trusting a pee-test.
We drove to the doctor. I laid down on the chair while he applied the goo-shit. He felt around for the baby's heart beat.
Doctor Winston: Aha there it is. Congratulations you're having a baby.
We drove home in tears. I have a school girl crush on his best friend. Who is single. I went home and cried I held Danielle against my chest. One thought ran through my mind FUCK MY LIFE I'M A SLUT NOW HE WILL NEVER WANT TO BE WITH ME. And I know he thinks I'm hot. He wouldn't want a slut.
:'( Sandy The Slut

Chance At Love?

I felt his hands around my tiny waist. He never pressured me to do it or take my top off at topless beaches. He always cared about what I have to say. He always took me where I wanted. He bought me presents. He loved Danielle like his own. His fingers combing through my long blonde hair. Maybe we're stupid it was January and on the beach. But it was only 60 degrees. He kissed me passionately. I stared into his green eyes. And I got memorized in them. His blonde hair matching mine and we lay awake watching the stars. He kissed me again. His lips tasting like a sexy mint. Then he told me he loved me.
Evie was blasting Grenade. Way to ruin my perfect dream. Bitch, I thought. I was dreaming about Sam my boyfriend from Florida. We broke up when I was moving back to Tulsa. He keeps on sending me cute little texts. My phone buzzed and it was another one from him. He said he is visiting and is thinking about staying. Then another one came. "Come outside." SHIT! I thought. I jumped in the shower quickly. Washed my hair. I got out and looked for something cute. I settled on a pair of skinny jeans, a white tank top, and a gray cardigan. I brushed my hair as I searched for my cowgirl boots. I put my white headband in my hair. "Mommy!" Danielle squealed. "Ugh come here baby." I picked her up. Hmm Evie already dressed her. She had on jeans and a pink tee-shirt that said Mommy's Princess. I put her hair into pigtails and ran outside. He wore a navy blue longsleeve top and jeans. Evie came outside. I handed her Danielle and ran into his embrace. His hands eventually landed on my ribs. His eyes opened wide. "Are you okay?" He knew about my eating disorder. He was playing football. I was cheerleading. I was on top of the pyramid I felt dizzy and then passed out. "I'm okay." I assured him. He stared into my blue eyes. I stared into his green eyes. He leaned in and kissed me. "Come inside it's cold." He held my hand the whole way to the house. He looked hotter and I felt that strange urge in me. The urge that happened when I was with Bob. I jumped up on the countertop and starting eating Whoppers. He smiled that sexy smile. The smile that he smiled the day I fell in love with him. After I finished my candy I went to the bathroom to weigh myself. I went from 82 pounds to 88 pounds. I smiled.
Sam: What do you do around here?
Me: Go out with friends. Cry. Play with Danielle.
Sam: Fun. Especially that crying part.
I smiled and kicked him gently. We gazed into eachother's eyes but our head tilted and our lips finding eachother. When our lips were about an inch away the phone rang. FML.
Me: Hello?
KitKat: Hey want to come over again. But we won't get wasted this time there is a lock on the liquor cabinet.
Me: I don't know. Evie didn't go into labour it was a false alarm. Thank God! But uhm my old friend is in town. And we are spending time together. But I'm having a party later. Evie is going to be at the hospital she is getting dialated. So you could come over tonight.
KitKat: Sure. Bye!
We laughed. I went into the living room and picked up Danielle and put her in her crib. Sam followed me. He put his hands around my waist.
Sam: You know that I missed you like crazy? And while you were crying I was crying.
Me: Awwww
He leaned in and kissed me without any distruptions. I kissed back and we couldn't stop. We went into my room. He pulled off my cardigan. I knew what he wanted to do. I was too into this to ask if he had protection. Then we went on the bed... It was around 3:30 when we were done and cuddling. He kissed my blonde mop of hair that got tangled from before. He kissed me again. And I knew where it would end up again. I was in love with him and I never got over him.
Sam: I never stopped loving you.
Me: I love you too.
Sam: I'm thinking of staying here.
Me: Yay!
Sam: I could buy us our own place. It will be nice you know in the other part of town. Me you and Danielle.
I froze. I'm a Greaser and always will be even though I slept with some Socs before.
Me: Uhm no. I'm not leaving this part of town. I don't care if the houses are crappy. I have and always will be a Greaser I'm not leaving this part of town.
Sam: Okay, okay. We will find our own place in this part of town.
Danielle started crying. She just woke up. I ran in and pulled her out of her crib. I kissed her and let her roam around the play room. I started brushing my tangled blonde hair. And got changed. UGH we were having a party later and the house was full of  toys. Shit! I started cleaning. I brought out the liquor. I got food out. I had my I-Pod that my rich grandparents bought me and plugged it into the stereo they bought me. Blair couldn't go. She didn't have a babysitter and she volunteered to babysit Danielle. People flooded the house. Sam and I sat on the coach. We started making out. People started watching. KitKat whistled, and I gave her the finger. Sam got up and came back with a bottle of Tequilla. He got shot glasses and lime.
Me: I bet I could drink more shots than you.
Sam: Wanna bet.
Me: Damn straight I do.
I drank 13 shots. Sam drank 9. We all ended up playing strip poker. Sam, Two-Bit, Kit-Kat, Dawn, Chase, and me. A couple of people too but I can't remember XD I sucked at poker. I put my bra on the table and Sam put his shirt. FUCK I really suck at poker. I ended up having nothing on. But Dawn killed Sam at it so he ended up with nothing either. He hugged me and then carried me into my room. Well you could guess where that ended up... ;) People were outside listening in. Talk about awkward. When I woke up it was 9 in the morning. Good thing Danielle slept over Blair's. I thought everyone was gone. So I walked out in some of my fancy-shmancy lingerie. I looked pretty damn hot. PEOPLE WERE STILL THERE!!!!!! Some were lying on the floor. I stepped on Soda. SHIT. I stepped on Steve. Opps. Some boys woke up and started whistling at me. Fuckin drunks I thought. I ran back into my room. Sam just woke up and slapped my ass. Ughh boys :D. Sam went out to go get me some food. He came back with food and was laughing hysterically.
Sam: Uhm Two-Bit or Dally is asleep in Danielle's crib.
I started laughing my ass off. Sam climbed back into bed and kissed me.
Sam: I'm staying here to be with you.
<3 Sandy

Getting Better

OMFG there is sooo much freakin stress in my life right now! First of all Evie is due any day. Second of all everyone is monitoring my eating. Third I have no BOYFRIEND!!!!! I walked into the kitchen kissing Danielle. She squealed and I hugged her. I set her down in front of the TV watching Dora The Explorer. I started making breakfast for all 3 (4) of us. As I flipped the pancake the phone rang.
Me: Hello?
Blair: Hey Sandy? Uhm it's Blair. Do you want to bring Danielle over to play with Blaze?
Me: Yeah of course.
Blair: Okay so like around 2.
Me: Sounds good. Bye!
I glanced over at Danielle who was laughing at the TV. Her little smile gleaming. She only has a couple of teeth but it's adorable. I finished making breakfast. I grabbed Danielle and put her in her high chair. I cut up her pancakes and she started squeezing them in her tiny pudgy hands. I picked at my pancakes. Wondering how many calories were in it. But I shouldn't worry about how many calories. I should worry about how much weight I should gain that's why I'm not as bony. (82 pounds) But I don't want to be a fat ass either. I finished breakfast. Evie's door was still closed. The same bubbling feeling was in my stomache. I ran to the bathroom. I was about to grab a tooth brush and throw up. There were motivational post-its on the walls. Telling me that I'm beautiful and I don't need to be bullimic. I started crying. But how else am I supposed to deal with stress. I rumaged through the medicine cabinet looking for pills. Nothing. Goody two-shoes Evie has to listen to doctor's orders. I grabbed Danielle. And she tried to play with my hair with blue berry hands. She pouted and made the cutest little face. I realized that was MY face when I didn't get my way. I bathed and dressed Danielle. I kissed her and then set her down in her crib. I took a shower and got dressed. When I came out with Danielle Evie was in the kitchen eating breakfast. I put on Danielle's coat and then drove her to Blair's. I rang the doorbell and Blair came in. She was still beautiful even when she is due any day.
Me: Is it okay if I leave her here? Or do you need me to stay?
Blair: No no go.
I drove back to my place. And right now I needed to hang out with friends who weren't PREGNANT. Evie is pregnant. Blair is pregnant. Then I came across to KitKat. I hesitated she was always my friend. But she might be busy planning for her wedding and every thing. I need a single, NOT PREGNANT girl to hang out with. I might as well hang out with KitKat she was supportive of me after I came out of the hospital and everything.
Me: Hey KitKat.
KitKat: Oh my god hi Sandy! I haven't spoke or hang out with you in like FOREVER!
Me: Haha I know. I just dropped Danielle off at Blair's for her to have a playdate with Blaze. And I need someone to hang out with who isn't pregnant.
KitKat: I know everyone is knocked up!
Me: Want to hang out?
KitKat: Sure. Come over my house. Well I'm not at my actual house I'm at. I don't know the Curtis residence?
Me: Haha I'll be there.
I drove over to the "Curtis Residence" I knew exactally where it was from when Soda and I used to date. I rang the doorbell. And so many memories flooded my mind. KitKat came to the door looking tired but still managed to look fabulous.
KitKat: Well aren't you looking pretty? Did I mention bony?
Me: Shut up
I shouldered her. She knows what I'm going through because she is battling bullimia too. She plopped down on the coach. Taking a sip of her beer.
Me: Don't you think it is a little early to be drinking?
KitKat: Nahh. Take some lets raid the cabinet. It's not my house anymore.
She skipped to the cabinet and brought back two bottles of Jack Daniels. We watched Jersey Shore reruns. Soda came in and I took a long sip of my Jack Daniel's. Oh god I thought. He smiled at me acknowleding me.
KitKat: I'm bored. Lets go streaking!
We were both wasted by then.
Me: Why not?
We stripped down but I wasn't too wasted to realize that everyone will stare at my bony figure and get worried. Good thing my boobs took up most of my chest. KitKat slipped and landed right on her ass. We laughed and then Two-Bit came in.
Two-Bit- DAMN! Was I missing all of the girl on girl action?
We giggled. We were naked on the coach. But that wasn't my first time being naked on that coach. KitKat put her Jack Daniel's between her legs. Soda came in his mouth open wide. I smiled  that smug smile I did the day I met him. I know I'm hot I know you want me. I was too wasted to realize that we were broken up. I giggled and then took more Jack Daniel's.
Me: Oh my God!!!!!!! My thumbs's gone!!!!
We started laughing our bony asses off. I looked at Two-Bit's and Soda's eyes land on my bony stomache. I'm so bony that with my top off you see all the bones in my stomache.
KitKat: Didn't Soda fuck you where I'm sitting?
Me: I don't know! Am I wasted?
Two-Bit laughed. I took that as a yes. Soda turned red.
KitKat: STOP STARING AT HER FUCKIN BOOBS!!!!!!!! SHE MIGHT BE A DOUBLE D BUT THEY DON'T BELONG TO YOU!!!! AND I KNOW YOU FUCKED HER LIKE EVERY WHERE IN THE HOUSE.
Soda turned even redder. And left. Then an unfamilliar face walked in.
KitKat: HI CHASE!!!!! WE'RE NAKED AND WASTED!!!!!!
I got uncomfortable.
KitKat: SANDY'S UNDERWEAR IS A THONG! DO YOU WANT TO SEE IT?
I pulled it back on.
KitKat: IF DAWN DOESN'T LIKE YOU YOU SHOULD GO AFTER SANDY! SHE IS BLONDE, HOT, AND SINGLE!!!!!
Soda's wife came in. She looked pissed then her eyes landed on me. What an FML moment.
KitKat: AND CHASE STOP LOOKING AT HER BOOBS!!! JUST FUCK HER ALREADY!
KitKat laughed so hard she fell off the coach. By now we were so wasted people brought their camera's out. We eventually put our clothes back on. But being with KitKat got my mind off all the stress. I sobered up a little. I picked up Danielle up from Blair's and went to lye down. As soon as I lyed down the phone rang.
Me: Hello?
Evie: Sandy it's me. I'm in the hospital I went into labour.
Me: I will be there soon.
;) Sandy

Can My Life Get Worse?

There are 3 words no one ever wants to hear You're A Dissipointment. Well after I fell asleep the phone rang. Evie came in her face covered in tears. She shook me. I groaned. She pointed to the phone meaning to talk. Something must have been up Evie has a tough exterior you never see crack.
Me: Hello?
Dad: Sandy? Mom just died.
My mouth hung wide open. Tears poured down my face.
Me: Hhh how?
I faced reality she was a drug addict and an alcoholic she liked to beat me in her free time.
Dad: She had liver failure from the alcohol. And she took an overdose on her perscribed pain pills.
Me: Okay.
Dad: She wanted me to let you know that she loves you. But I think you're a dissipointment to the family. Maybe that's why she died. You're a slut Sandy. You got knocked up at sixteen. You had a brilliant life planned go to Stanford on a cheerleading scholarship. Model. But no you had to be a WHORE AND GET KNOCKED UP! That kid you have is a mistake. I knew you were a mistake. Just like your little mistake. I knew you were a slut you could never keep your legs closed and you always had to be perfect.
Tears were streaming down my face. I couldn't talk it would be in blubbers. I just hung up on him. I realized his speech was slurred he was a bigger alcoholic than mom was. I hugged Evie. To her my mom was nicer than Two-Bit's. She would always bake cookies for company. Make sure everyone felt like they were at home. I might be a Greaser but my house was hmm middle class? But to me my mom was the devil. She would beat me after company left. One time she beat me with a broken beer bottle outside. IN FRONT OF PEOPLE! Danielle was sleeping soundly. She never met my parents. And I hope she never will. I motioned Evie out. And I lay awake thinking about the day I found out I was pregnant:
I was laying on my bed in my tiny cheerleading uniform. Who would I tell? Who's baby was it? I just slept with Bob and Sodapop. Didn't wear protection for either time. I remember Soda's exact words "SHIT! The condom broke!" I kinda hoped for that to happen. I didn't want to be carrying a Soc's baby! I was a size 0. It took hard work for it. I pat my stomache gently hoping that maybe the weight I was gaining was from eating. Then I stared blankly at the 6 pregnancy tests that read. PREGNANT. I realized it was Bob's baby. The baby already was forming when I slept with Sodapop. I looked at the photos of me on top of the pyramid. I cried harder. I ran and did something. I forced myself to throw up. Then I took 3 advils. Maybe that would kill the baby. I cried harder. And thought I DON'T WANT THIS BABY IT'S A MISTAKE.
Maybe Danielle was a mistake. But I love her more than anything. I saw her little face my face. And eventually fell asleep. The next morning was the funeral. I let my hair down. And put on a knee length black dress. Danielle had a black headband. A black dress, and little Mary Jane's. Evie came in wearing a long sleeve black top. And a black skirt. I didn't say a word there. Maybe my dad sobered up for the funeral. He was there. UGH!!! I saw Soda there. My mom adored Soda. He waved and smiled. I put on my brave face. You could tell he was crying he loved my mom and her goofy personality. After the funeral Soda hugged me and we both eventually cried. We said our goodbyes and went home. I ran into the house. I got undressed and examined myself. You saw my ribs. This wasn't a good sign. I'm (was) bullimic. I popped 8 persciption pills in my mouth. Then blacked out. I woke up attatched to tubes. I looked around me in the bed next to me there was a fimilliar face. It was Dimitri! He was out cold. The doctor came in and told me I had an overdose on pills. And I weigh only 82 pounds. And if I kept up my diet I will be dead within a week. I thought who would take care of Danielle. I cried. And eventually faced reality I can't be struggling with my weight from my pregnancy my whole life. And if I keep on popping pills to deal with stress I will end up like mom. I got realesed from the hospital. And I cooked a big home cooked meal for our family. And this time I wouldn't barf it up. I looked at Danielle's happy face. And Evie's belly. I realized this is the best family a girl could have.
XOXO Sandy

Not So Sweet Dreams

I went to the kitchen started feeding Danielle. Evie came in tired and confused. The phone rang.
Evie: You get it
Me: Hello?
Bob: WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!
I recognised the tone in his voice his speech slurred. By his first word spoken I knew he was drunk already at 9:00 in the morning
Bob: You think that you could go to Florida with my daughter?
Me: BOB WHAT THE FUCK?!?! You're the one who said I want nothing to do with that mistake. Then you went off fucking another girl. Probably getting her knocked up too.
Bob: Ughhh.... Just meet me in the park with her.
Me: Uhm no I don't want you to see her. I don't want you to be involved in her life.
The line went dead.
I cried in my hands. Why does my life suck?
Evie: There is a party at the Winston's later if you want to go.
Me: Okay. I guess you're not going.
She shook her head.
By the time I actually moved myself it was 5 only half an hour to get ready. I put on a pair of shorts and a pink tank top.
Evie: You're under dressed. It's pretty fancy.
Then I changed into a silver sequin dress.
I drove to the Winston's not forgetting where it was. The crazy late night parties. Making out with Sodapop. I winced at the thought. When I walked in What's My Name was playing. As I made my way to get a drink. I saw people looking at me. Probably saying "Is that the girl that got knocked up by that Soc?" I noticed Blair there Two-Bit's sister. Then she turned around and she was pregnant! Then kissed Dally. Ugh I needed another drink. I thought Blair the party girl? Man this town changed. Then a girl made her way to me. I noticed her smug smile. Sylvia.
Sylvia: Hey I scored some pills want some?
I reluctantly took a hand full. Then downed my 5th or 6th shot? Oh god was it? No it couldn't be. But it was. Sodapop was sitting there not touching a drop of liquor. I wanted to go over and talk. A girl a blonde. Sat in his lap. I recognised her. When I went to DX that was the girl Sodapop is married to. Katie? What's her face? Old feelings welled my system. Sodapop made his way over.
Sodapop: Staying for good?
Me: Um ya i guess.
Tears welled up in my eyes. Oh god was I wasted already?
Sodapop: You look good. Uhm how's Danielle?
You could tell he was as uncomfortable as me. I twirled a loose piece of blonde hair from my messy bun.
Me: Good.
Sodapop: See you around.
He moved on I remembered the night. We were in his room. Just two hours before Bob and I slept together. Soda kissed me passionately. He hesitantly unbuttoned my top. His eyes wide open staring at my chest. If he didn't take it seriously he would have made a boobalicious remark like he always did because I was known for having an unbelievably large chest.
Soda: You want to?
Me: Yes.
I was scared because I knew Bob didn't use protection.
I went home because the party was over and it was only 9 I usually stay up til 5 or 6 in the morning.
Evie: Party over already?
She was cradling Danielle in her arms. Her my blue topaz eyes wide open. Her little smile smiling at me.
Me: Ya.
She could tell I was crying. So she let me be. I took off my short dress. And changed into old cheerleading sweats and a tattered old tanktop. I laid awake. And eventually cried myself to sleep. Now that day sucked.
Sandy :(

I'm Baaaack!

I'm back! For good? Who knows. But for those who don't know me I moved to Florida for 2 years because my parents kicked me out when they found out I was pregnant with my daughter Danielle. I dated Sodapop for 3 years and I cheated on him when I was drunk. -.- I felt really guilty because we had unprotected sex a couple weeks before that. So I had no idea who was the father. Soda was with me when I told them at a family dinner. Soda proposed a brilliant idea that we should get married. Then they said get the hell out of my house. Friendly right? I moved in with Soda after that whole inncident. Everyone was excited for the birth of Danielle. We had her nursery painted and everything. I was 8 months pregnant when I did a DNA test and found out the father was Bob Sheldon. It was Christmas Eve when I told Soda it wasn't his and on that note I left to Florida. I found love in Florida his name is Sam and he's beyond gorgeous. I love him so much. But we haven't talked since I moved back home to Tulsa. My bestfriend Evie brought me up to Tulsa a couple of times with Danielle and I wanted to see if Soda was still single to see if we had a chance. Turns out he was engaged. I gave up after that. But I hope ya'll won't know me as the whore Sandy because this is a new era of Sandy!