Can My Life Get Worse?

There are 3 words no one ever wants to hear You're A Dissipointment. Well after I fell asleep the phone rang. Evie came in her face covered in tears. She shook me. I groaned. She pointed to the phone meaning to talk. Something must have been up Evie has a tough exterior you never see crack.
Me: Hello?
Dad: Sandy? Mom just died.
My mouth hung wide open. Tears poured down my face.
Me: Hhh how?
I faced reality she was a drug addict and an alcoholic she liked to beat me in her free time.
Dad: She had liver failure from the alcohol. And she took an overdose on her perscribed pain pills.
Me: Okay.
Dad: She wanted me to let you know that she loves you. But I think you're a dissipointment to the family. Maybe that's why she died. You're a slut Sandy. You got knocked up at sixteen. You had a brilliant life planned go to Stanford on a cheerleading scholarship. Model. But no you had to be a WHORE AND GET KNOCKED UP! That kid you have is a mistake. I knew you were a mistake. Just like your little mistake. I knew you were a slut you could never keep your legs closed and you always had to be perfect.
Tears were streaming down my face. I couldn't talk it would be in blubbers. I just hung up on him. I realized his speech was slurred he was a bigger alcoholic than mom was. I hugged Evie. To her my mom was nicer than Two-Bit's. She would always bake cookies for company. Make sure everyone felt like they were at home. I might be a Greaser but my house was hmm middle class? But to me my mom was the devil. She would beat me after company left. One time she beat me with a broken beer bottle outside. IN FRONT OF PEOPLE! Danielle was sleeping soundly. She never met my parents. And I hope she never will. I motioned Evie out. And I lay awake thinking about the day I found out I was pregnant:
I was laying on my bed in my tiny cheerleading uniform. Who would I tell? Who's baby was it? I just slept with Bob and Sodapop. Didn't wear protection for either time. I remember Soda's exact words "SHIT! The condom broke!" I kinda hoped for that to happen. I didn't want to be carrying a Soc's baby! I was a size 0. It took hard work for it. I pat my stomache gently hoping that maybe the weight I was gaining was from eating. Then I stared blankly at the 6 pregnancy tests that read. PREGNANT. I realized it was Bob's baby. The baby already was forming when I slept with Sodapop. I looked at the photos of me on top of the pyramid. I cried harder. I ran and did something. I forced myself to throw up. Then I took 3 advils. Maybe that would kill the baby. I cried harder. And thought I DON'T WANT THIS BABY IT'S A MISTAKE.
Maybe Danielle was a mistake. But I love her more than anything. I saw her little face my face. And eventually fell asleep. The next morning was the funeral. I let my hair down. And put on a knee length black dress. Danielle had a black headband. A black dress, and little Mary Jane's. Evie came in wearing a long sleeve black top. And a black skirt. I didn't say a word there. Maybe my dad sobered up for the funeral. He was there. UGH!!! I saw Soda there. My mom adored Soda. He waved and smiled. I put on my brave face. You could tell he was crying he loved my mom and her goofy personality. After the funeral Soda hugged me and we both eventually cried. We said our goodbyes and went home. I ran into the house. I got undressed and examined myself. You saw my ribs. This wasn't a good sign. I'm (was) bullimic. I popped 8 persciption pills in my mouth. Then blacked out. I woke up attatched to tubes. I looked around me in the bed next to me there was a fimilliar face. It was Dimitri! He was out cold. The doctor came in and told me I had an overdose on pills. And I weigh only 82 pounds. And if I kept up my diet I will be dead within a week. I thought who would take care of Danielle. I cried. And eventually faced reality I can't be struggling with my weight from my pregnancy my whole life. And if I keep on popping pills to deal with stress I will end up like mom. I got realesed from the hospital. And I cooked a big home cooked meal for our family. And this time I wouldn't barf it up. I looked at Danielle's happy face. And Evie's belly. I realized this is the best family a girl could have.
XOXO Sandy