Forcing Smiles, Faking Laughter.

I remember being that perfect high school cheerleader that everyone envied. It seems like one day you're perfectly fine, then the next you just snap. The first time I snapped seems like ages ago, but the horrific memory is still burned into my brain, and it caused an ugly illness, addiction, etc. If I had a time machine I would go back and convince myself I'm beautiful, but why would I lie? I convince people I'm perfectly fine, no one believed me. People thought I would get better once I got pregnant for the first time, but it just got worse. I put on that plaster smile to convince everyone that I'm sane, but at the end of the day I find myself putting Danielle to bed, binging and not even caring what goes into my body. Then, purging until there's nothing left in me then wash it down with some Tequila Blanco to get the acid taste out of my mouth. I pop some LSD in, Ectasy, a few strange perscriptions, a few joints before bed and then pass out. But, no worries I eventually wake up a few hours sometimes even minutes later dripping in sweat as pale as a ghost traumatized from the endless nightmares. I curl up in bed, but the "dark cloud" has taken over my life. There's countless nights of me screaming from the nightmares, and Danielle running into my bed comforting me. I'm sick and tired of being in a deep dark depression, I want to "cure" myself from that. But, when it comes to my eating disorder there are times where I don't want to stop, there's that voice in the back of my head telling me to keep losing weight until there's nothing else to lose. Maybe that's why I'm now trapped in a rehab with Kitty.

"You're late." "I don't give a fuck." "Why are you so tardy Miss. Davis?" "I had to drop Danielle off at Evie's. Visit the high school and say I'm still not returning just yet, I had to say goodbye to Danielle. And, I just didn't really want to let go of her when I said goodbye." "You'll be back in no time." "When? Huh? Tell me. When, will I come home?" Kitty shrugged her shoulders and faked a phone call. I groaned placing my head in my hands. "Cheer up, old' chap." I tapped my foot nervously, until they called us up. They made us hand our cellphones, razors, pens, pencils, anything sharp and no communication or technology whatsoever. I rolled my eyes, "It'll be good for us." I mocked her, until I found her towering over me to get me to shut the hell up. We got our bags and followed the nurse into our room, the moment I walked into this shit hole I knew it would not be pretty. We reached our new "home" as you might as well call it. A small room with no windows, bright yellow walls, two twin size beds with railings on the sides as if they were cribs. I took a deep breath trying to keep myself from screaming, but then I'll be locked here even longer because everyone will think that I'm a lunatic. Not that I'm not already one, I sat down on one of the beds and bit my lip looking for a window to look out of. "I will be right back with clothes for you guys." "We already have clothes-" "You have to be granted to wear them, so until you have permission you have to wear the hospital clothing." The nurse walked out of the room and I punched the wall leaving the slightest indent in the plaster wall. Kitty stared at her feet, not making any eye contact with me. The nurse came back with flannel bright yellow and orange pajamas. This will be a long time.

"KitKat? Sandra? It's time for lunch." "I'm not-" "Now." We made our way to the cafeteria, and sat down at the table. "We already had breakfast AND a snack. Now lunch?" I stared at my unappetizing plate of "food". "I need to see Danielle." "You just got here." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." The rest of the meal was silent nothing, but the sounds of our forks moving food around on our plates making look like we ate somewhat. When they led us back to our room there was honestly nothing for us to do except to nap. Kitty fell asleep, and for 2 hours I stared at the bright yellow walls thinking of a plan to escape. I dug through my duffle bag and pulled out a picture of Danielle and I. It was from her princess themed third birthday party. Yet, another event I put on a brace face for the sake of Danielle. There are times I often wonder what my life would be like if I never cheated on Soda, never gotten pregnant, Danielle wouldn't even exist. I would still be that "innocent" sweet troubled girl everyone made me out to be. I put the picture on my night stand. I got another picture out, and it was of the gang no more than 5 years ago. When everything was simple and we still had our youth. From the picture I looked no more than 15. It looked like right after my "troubled" phase and Jelly and I were grinning back to back. Soda had Kitty on his shoulders and Kitty looked about 13 or 14. I miss my youth the carefree times of not giving a damn about anything. My youth stopped the moment I got pregnant, I took another glance at the picture it was about 2 or 3 weeks before Jelly and Soda's breakup. The breakup that clued me in on his feelings for me, and the breakup that ruined a friendship. I put the picture down and stared at the ceiling. I shut my eyes and counted to 3 hoping that I could wake up and I'll be in my own bed. 1, 2, 3. Nothing, nada, rien, nichts. I put my head in my pillow and let out a muffled scream. I spent the rest of our free time sobbing quietly clutching the picture of Danielle to my chest.

"How did therapy go?" "Fine, how 'bout you?" Kitty smiled at me "Did she ask you about how you started?" I nodded and let out a defeated sigh, "I told her everything." "So do me just one favor." "Yeah?" "Can you please tell me? I'll tell you mine." I inhaled and nervously chewed on a piece of blonde hair, "I'm tired. Maybe some other time, I promise." I crawled into bed. Later that night, I found myself screaming into my pillow having the same reoccurring nightmare. Kitty was alarmed, and I found her wrapping her arms around me in a nurturing way. How I usually comfort Danielle when she falls or sees something scary. "Shh, it's okay. It was jut a dream." Yeah the dream I'm unfortunately living. "Sandy, please you need to talk about it." I gulped and told her my fucked up problem leaving her wide eyed and with her jaw open.

Sell Me Out I'm Yesterday's Old News.

They say the awkward moments in life are the best moments. The moments where you fight, cry, laugh, or just all of the above. The moments where you want to tare your opponent to shreds or just cry on his or her shoulder. The whole world knows perfection doesn't exist, truth is why do we still want to achieve perfection?

"Why didn't you tell me you ran away?! I thought you died or some shit, I was ready to put missing posters up throughout Tulsa." Kitty screamed as I took my ear away from the receiver. I sighed putting the last of my bags down. "I was going to tell you-" "WHEN?!" I glanced at the small pills of Ecstasy in my hand. "Whenever I felt like." I swallowed the handful,downing it with water. "No normal person just ditches town whenever they fucking feel like it. You don't just go, hey this town sucks let's leave and don't tell anyone!" Kitty yelled. My blue eyes softened, "Kitty," I began. "Sorry." She mumbled realizing about my "situation" and the time before that with Danielle. I sat down on a chair cupping my face in my hands. "I didn't mean for any of this to happen. And what happened.. I couldn't take it anymore, so I went on the first nonstop flight to Miami with Danielle. I left everything hoping it will be better when I come back, but my main objective was to wakeup from this nightmare I'm living. So I guess I broke up with Sam unofficially because I mailed him back his ring. But in Florida with my grandmother was a fucking nightmare. I forgot how much I really resented her, so now I'm here. Caught up enough?" I sighed. The line was still and I wiped the stray tears sitting on
my eyelashes. "Yeah, I guess. But you should have told someone you were leaving for a bit." "Mhm, sure." My stomach growled and I immediately placed my hand on it, you want to believe that you're still carrying but you can't. "I get it. So how about you come over here today?" Kitty said lifting her voice up. "I don't have a sitter for Danielle." "Call Evie." I groaned
in defeat, "Fine." The line went dead and I went to the bathroom and slammed the door.

"Wow... You look... Never mind." Kitty said eyeing my apparel. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. I haven't slept much lately." "And why is that?" "Nightmares." Her look softened, I could tell she was feeling somewhat sympathy for me. "Uhm you hungry?" "I just ate." I sat down and felt my eyes slowly closing. But, I somehow managed to feel the death stare of Mrs. KitKat Curtis-Matthews. "Cut the bullshit already." "I don't know-" "I thought you got over it." Kitty said cutting me off mid sentence. I was silent, and dropped my hands in defeat. I didn't say a word and hoped for the best. "You told me you will stop." "You said you will too." "And you really believed me?" Kitty scoffed. "I could say the same to you." "I have a tendency to lie and forget Ms. Davis." I raised an eyebrow trying to think of something to say, so I decided to say the truth. "It's an addiction I can't just promise to stop." "You look unhealthy." She simply said. "So do you." "You were carrying twins and you barely have any baby weight left." "It doesn't matter to you." Kitty dragged me and made me look in a mirror. "Do you think you look
good?" I broke down in tears and just lost it. I put my head between my knees and my sobs grew louder. I had to get her to stop making me talk about my "problem". "What about you? You're
not perfect either, and... And you're just jealous that I can get pregnant and you can't." I shouted at her between sobs. I felt like a huge jackass, infertility is one of the consequences of Bulimia that I fortunately haven't endured... Yet. Infertility does something to you that you just can't explain, I wiped my tears off my hollow face. I looked up at Kitty
and her fists were clenched. Her breathing got heavy and she stood there motionless, "Kitty," I began attempting to apologize. "At least I'm not a no good slut who is still in love with
her ex boyfriend who's married, at least I didn't get pregnant 2 times and I'm still a teenager. You avoid problems and... You can't stick to one relationship without fucking cheating." My sobs turned into gasps for air, I saw Kitty's intimidating height tower over my 5"1 frame. She collapsed next to me, "Fighting is getting us nowhere." Kitty said staring at me. "No duh." "I think you're depressed and I'm not saying this because I'm pissed of at you. I'm saying this as one of your best friends, you need help. Go see a psychiatrist they have
places or something you can check yourself into a facility." "I'm not seeing anyone or going to a fucking institution for that matter. I'm perfectly fine, I could stop whenever I want
to." "Sandy it's getting out of control." "I know I'm fucked up, it doesn't take a genius to figure that out. Bulimia is mental, and... I have it under control." Kitty sighed putting her head back against the wall. "We keep on talking about my problem, and I know you're not alright. Tell me, about whatever is bothering you. Just let it all out you know I won't judge you." I told her.

Life Sucks And Then You Die.

I remember the day I found out I was pregnant for my 2nd time. The inner pain of the fear of weight gain, my outer pain of being scared and alone once again, and the strange deja vu of who's the father? You learn to suck it up and take responsibility for your careless mistake. The past 9 months weren't exactly easy but that bullshit line of "Everything happens for a reason," might be true but who knows? 9 months of a bond with the identical twin girls, the emotional breakdowns, the 3 AM food runs well making Kitty go on my food runs, and the best thing about being pregnant was that strange feeling that even at your lowest you're not alone because you still have that baby or babies that are all yours. This pregnancy was complicated but I had to put on a brave face. Sam was supportive and Danielle was excited for their arrival but they wouldn't even be in my life. I was reluctant about starting school 8 months pregnant; the looks and the hushed whispers from people in the hallway. I learned to enjoy a school life that didn't revolve around cheerleading but in my heart I still yern for that feeling of acceptance whenever you wear that polyester uniform around school. You have to learn to put on a brave face and suck it up.

It started out like any other day; Danielle whining to be picked up, making breakfast for the 3 of us, talking about the babies with Sam, and getting all my shit together for school. Only one thing was different than all the other days, I woke up with sharp pains in my sides. I convinced myself it was false labor pains or I was going into false labor once again. I left the apartment with an annoyed attitude just hoping to make it through the day. Then it happened. It happened so quickly you can't do anything to stop it. It happened 3rd period English class with no other than Mr. Syme who's so fond of us Greasers. When he asked "Why did Juliet die after she fond Romeo dead?" I clutched my stomach in pain as I felt yet another contraction, then the calls of immature, uneducated Socs in disgust screaming "Gross Sandy are you peeing?" My face paled and I knew everything was over for sure. Mr. Syme had to call an ambulence to rush me to the E.R. 12 hours of lovely contractions I was sent into the E.R for an emergency C section. I later awoke exahusted just wanting to see my daughters who in days would be snatched from my life. I saw Sam holding a beautiful small bundle, her blonde hair was matted on her head. But I took a closer look and saw his tear streaked face,
"Where's the other one?" I finally asked cocking a blonde eyebrow.
Sam looked down at the baby and looked up at me, "Sophia died. When.... she came out dead." Sam said crying holding a sleeping Beth.
It was like one of those moments you see in movies where you can't here your surroundings and all you hear is the pounding of your heart. I wanted to scream or cry but I did both. The emotions I bottled up for 8 years exploded like that. And, the girl everyone once knew is dead just like her daughter.
I sat in the hospital bed curled up sobbing. Only Beth surrived and poor Sophia's dead. More tears rolled down my cheek, why me? Few people came in and out to check up on me but everyone's main concern is Dally and his attempted suicide. The lights flickered on and my blue eyes fumed with anger and pain. "Turn them off!" I yelled not wanting everyone to see that I've been in the same place for 3 days now with the same tears that keep on rolling down my pale cheeks. I pulled the sheets over my head shaking with anger not wanting anyone to see me like this. Kitty checked up on me once every day to tell me everything's going to be alright. Then she told me the latest with the whole Blair/Dally situation. I looked up and saw Sam. Without words he just climbed into bed with me, he held me and cried. He completely lost it. Sam kissed my forehead and wiped his face getting out of bed. Dr. Winston came in saying that I was being released. Then Molly and Brad came in holding Beth, I held Beth and kissed her not seeing my baby again. Then they took a quick picture of Beth and I, then one of the 4 of us Sam, Danielle, Beth, and I. On that note they left and so did I.
"I'll take Danielle back to the apartment, meet you there?" Sam asked me with his hands jammed in his pockets.
I shook my head, "I'll take her."
He nodded and left shaking his blonde hair out of his eyes. I watched his black Mercedes drive away and Danielle pointing repeating "Daddy?" I ran to my car and drove to where I go when the going gets tough. I drove to the airport and booked a nonstop flight to Miami. Nothing with me except a confused 3 year old I boarded the plane. 3 hours later we were finally at our destination I picked Danielle up and waited for my grandma to pick us up when I frantically called her on the way to the airport. I saw my grandma smiling in front of the airport, she smiled and simply said "Welcome back to Florida Sandra."
:/ Sandy

Why Am I So Fucked Up?

Mike's hand crept his way up my shirt.
Me: Stop I told you.
Mike: Aww but you look so sexy.
Me: Do you see my tramp stamp? It's all about the teasing and not about the pleasing.
Mike frowned and got out of bed. As I fixed my shorts my phone blasted the Lazy Song my voicemail song. I got my password and I listened to my voicemail.
Molly: Hi this is Molly Hartgers and I saw in Tulsa Adoption Agency you're interested in having an open adoption. And you're pregnant with twin girls. Me and my husband Brad will love for you and whoever to come over it's 224 River Side Road. It's on the south side. So please call me back as soon as possible.
My face froze I didn't know it would happen this soon. Mike and I are already choosing names that we both like. It's just too soon. Mike was already out of the room. I nervously dialed the number.
Molly: Hello?
Me: Hi I'm Sandy Davis you uhm called me before.
Molly: Oh yes I did hi.
Me: Hi.
Molly: I would love to talk to you I don't know if you have other couples to interview but can you please come over today?
Me: Yeah sure.
Molly: Do you want to bring a boyfriend if you have one?
Me: Yeah I'll bring my fiancee Mike and I'm going to have to bring my daughter.
Molly: I thought you would bring your daughter like every where you go.
Me: Uhm no I already have a 2 year old daughter.
Molly: And how old are you?
Me: I just turned 19 last month.
Molly: Oh wow you're young.
Me: Yeah I guess but today will be perfect.
Molly: What time is convient for you?
Me: I guess in half an hour.
Molly: Great we'll see you then.
Mike came in the room finishing off his 3rd poptart.
Mike: Who was on the phone?
Me: Someone interested in adopting the twins.
Mike: I think we should name them before we give them away.
Me: Yeah I would want to too. We still have to decide on names though.
Mike: Come on Regan is such a good name.
Me: I told you I'll think about it.
Mike: Come on.
I kissed him to shut him up.
Mike: You hungry?
Me: Starving I had the weirdest craving last night so I had to do it myself that's upsetting.
Mike: What was it?
Me: Pretzel M&M's wrapped in bacon.
Mike: That is pretty weird.
Me: Yeah but I'm gonna eat.
I skipped downstairs and ate 6 S'mores Poptarts. There's 2 in each package so techinically I had 12. :/ Mike was sitting in a towel and I ignored my hormones and got in the shower. Mike was dressed when I got out. I put on a black pencil skirt with a white silk tanktop. I put on white slingbacks and put in pearl studs with a pearl necklace. I did my makeup then put in my black Chanel headband. I gotta look presentable. I went to see Danielle. She wasn't in her bed. My heart was beating so fast. I looked in the downstairs bathroom and there was Lexie in her string bikini with Danielle. Danielle waved at me. I laughed then did finished my makeup. I looked in the mirror to make sure I looked presentable. That outfit really focused on my baby bump. Lexie brought Danielle up to me. I looked at Danielle. Her naturally straight hair had a velvet headband. She had on her favorite shirt: a pink bedazzled shirt that says Mommy's Princess. Then she had on a light blue skirt with baby blue sneakers. Mike had on a collared shirt and khaki's. I picked Danielle up and brought her to the car. We drove off. I put on Pretending the new Glee song xD.
Mike: I know you're nervous and might have second thoughts about giving them away.
I raised the volume higher.
Mike turned it off.
I lost it.
Me: Okay! I'm scared shitless. I don't know if I want to give them up I do then don't. I'll only see their shining faces occasionally. I don't want to be like the normal teen whore. Who gives up their kid then doesn't give a fuck after then continues on with their life.
I sniffled.
Mike: Hey listen it's gonna be okay we'll see them.
Me: And I'm getting fatter look at this.
I pulled up my shirt.
Mike: It's called being pregnant.
He put his hand on it.
Mike: You feel that I feel one of their heads.
I didn't believe him and put my hand on it.
Me: It is.
Mike: It's gonna be okay.
Me: I decided one of them is going to be Regan.
Mike: What about the middle name?
Me: Well Kitty wants her name to be somehow involved so her middle name will be Sarah.
Mike: What about the other one?
Me: I like Blake and Bailey.
Mike: Yeah.
Mike pulled up to the house. It was legit the biggest house I've ever seen even bigger than Nicole's.

 Me: That's a pretty big house.
Mike: You could say that again.
I got sleeping Danielle out of the car. And balanced her on my hip.
A redish girl answered the door. She has a perfect complexion, to die for wardrobe, and not an ounce of fat on her.
Me: Are you Molly?
Molly: Yes come in. Brad they're here!
I walked in Mike's hand was still wrapped around mine. A man walked in.

Brad: Hi I'm Brad.
Me: Sandy this is my fiance Mike and my daughter Danielle.
Brad: Nice to meet you all.
He smiled and Molly led us to the coach.

Molly folded her hands. Danielle was asleep on my lap. Mike had his arm around me.
Me: So why did you bring us here today?
Molly: We're interested in having an open adoption with you.
Mike: Not to be rude or anything but why can't you have kids on your own.
I slapped Mike.
Molly: We had trouble.... concieving. I suffered 3 miscarriages. So we went to a doctor and learned that I am physically unable to concieve children. I've always wanted to. We want to. But it just broke our hearts. It's the one thing we both wanted. Some people can have kids without trying. And I'm so jealous of them.
I shifted in my seat.
Me: That's horrible to hear.
Molly: Yeah. So can we hear a little about you?
Me: Sure. I just turned 19 last month. I have Danielle here she is 2. I was the captain of the varsity cheerleading team, and varsity dance team. I dropped out of highschool to raise Danielle. I had full paid scholarships for cheerleading and dance but I didn't accept because of Danielle. I was born and raised in Tulsa. I moved to Florida for 2 years with my grandparents because my parents weren't exactally fond of having a pregnant daughter. And my ex Sodapop wanted us to get married and they perfered me moving to Florida then getting married at 16.
Molly: I thought you were 17 when you had her.
Me: No. I got pregnant with her in June then I had her in January before I turned 17.
Molly: Oh wow.
Me: Yeah. Oh yeah here are ultrasounds of them if you want.
Molly held the ultrasound and started tearing up.
Brad: Do you know who you want to be the parents?
Me: Most defintally you guys. But we have one condition.
Molly: What money?
Me: Uhm no I want to name them since they are technically mine.
Molly: Sure what names do you have in mind?
Me: Regan.
Molly: Sure.
Me: Okay.
Molly: When are they due?
Me: November 9th.
Molly: How has your pregnancy been so far?
Me: One of them is laying weird but the doctor said it's perfectally normal and it's actually good because they aren't laying on top of each other. I've been getting really weird cravings, my feet are so swollen, I have the worst back pain, the worst mood swings, and I'm really big for 16 weeks.
Molly: Well we'll be here for you no matter what.
Me: Wow thanks.
Molly: No problem.
Danielle was starting to wake up in my lap. She smiled at Mike and reached out for him. Molly smiled at Danielle.
Molly: Can I hold her?
Me: Uhm sure.
She held Danielle as the look on Danielle's face simply said who the fuck is this nut job?! Danielle didn't complain she liked the attention.
Me: Is there any deals you guys want to make?
Molly: We want to go to all of the doctor appointments.
Me: Sure. Is that it?
Molly: Yeah.
Me: I should get going sorry it was nice meeting you two.
I got Danielle and Mike held my free hand as we walked to the car. Mike started driving.
Mike: What do you think of her as potential parents?
Me: I think they are going to have a pretty good life all they ever wanted was a child of their own. Now they get two blonde little girls.
Mike: How do you know they're going to be blonde? Soda has brown hair.
Me: I just know they're going to be blonde. Can we go back home I want to change.
Mike: Sure.
I pranced in the house and got changed into a light blue sundress. I looked in the mirror and I completly lost it. I lifted up my dress and looked at my baby bump.

 I was crying hysterically and couldn't get a hold of myself. Mike came running up.
Mike: What's wrong?
Me: I'm fat! I keep on getting bigger and bigger. And after that I don't know if I want to give them up. They will grow up as Soc's and think their mom is a no good low class whore. I can't live like this.
Mike held me as I cried.
Me: And I'm ugly my babies will be ugly.
Mike: You're beautiful and they will be.
I cried harder. After 20 minutes of Mike consoling me I felt a sharp pain in my back. I know this pain. It's not I'm too fat pain it's oh shit it's coming pain. I screamed as another one came.
Mike: What's wrong?
I couldn't breath.
Me: I'm having a fuckin contraction.
Mike: You're having them this early?
Me: I can't! They'll die right away their lungs aren't developed yet.
Then another one came.
Mike: We have to do something.
Me: Yeah like what?
Another one came it hurt so bad.
Me: Call Mark and tell him to come over here now.
He dialed Mark and explained the whole thing. As we waited for Mark to come over tears were spilling down my cheeks from the unbearable pain. Mark came to my room breathless.
Mark: What happened?
Me: I started getting contractions.
Mark: You're only 17 weeks pregnant.
Me: No shit sherlock.
Mark: We have to go to the hospital. Did your water break?
Me: No.
Mark: Okay that means they're not coming but something is defintally up.
He helped me up. Another one came.
Me: I want mom.
Mark didn't look at me. He knows when I'm in so much pain I always ask for mom.
Mark: She's not around anymore.
Me: I need drugs to stop the pain then.
Mark: Sandy you're not giving birth for another 5 months. You can't have drugs.
He helped me in the car. As Mike nervously stayed at the house looking after Danielle. Mark sped to the hospital as I squeezed his free hand. Mark parked and we quickly got into the hospital. He talked to his other doctors and he got me a room. They ran blood tests and urine tests. Mark came in and the contractions had stopped by then.
Me: What's wrong with me?
Mark: You were having braxton hick's contractions.
Me: And you think I know what the fuck that means?
Mark: It pretty much means your uterus is preparing to have the babies. It's flexing and it's painful as you just experienced. But they don't last very long. You should get them occasionally because your body isn't used to having twins.
Me: So what should I do for the pain?
Mark: Lay down drink lots of fluid and relax.
Me: You sure it will work?
Mark: It defintally will.
Me: Thanks.
Mark: Well you got really..... bigger since the last time I saw you.
Me: Yeah I know.
Mark: It's normal. Remember how big mom was with the triplets?
Me: Yeah she couldn't even fit in the doorway.
Mark pushed a stray hair away from my face.
Mark: I know it's hard but you'll get through it. Do you want to run an ultrasound?
Me: Not really.
Mark: Sandy they're in perfect health.
Me: Good. I gotta go see Mike and Danielle.
Mark: Wait are you actually happy with him?
Me: Yeah. Most defintally.
Mark: Do you miss Sam?
Me: I gotta go.
As I got in the car I realized I DO miss him. And I'm not ready for this commitment with a guy I barely know. I need time to think. I texted Leah.
Me: can u look after danielle 4 a little bit???
Leah: how long?
Me: idk. plz.
Leah: fine im coming to get her now.
I got in the house and snuck through the backdoor to not get noticed. I packed a duffle bag I kissed Danielle goodbye. And wrote a quick note: I'm confused I need time to think. Then I laid my engagement ring on top and sprinted out the door. I scrolled through my contacts and called him.
Sam: Sandy?
Me: Can I come over?
Sam: Of course.
Then I drove like crazy to Sam's penthouse. He opened up the door and smiled at me without hesitation I looked in his turquoise eyes. I kissed him then he kissed me back then we couldn't stop and found our way to the couch.
:/ Sandy

For Once In My Whole Life I Don't Want To Be Normal

I knew it was right. Just after 2 weeks.
Me: Yes.
He picked me up and kissed me everyone cheered. The Yankees lost. :(. But I won <3. The streets were full of drunks singing New York By Frank Cinantra even though they didn't even win go figure. We went back to the hotel and had uhmmm happy you said yes sex.
.........................................................................................................................
Me: Yo Kitty something big happened last night.
Kitty: Please don't tell me you're pregnant with triplets.
Me: Puh-lease. Mike proposed.
Kitty: Well I kinda figured after we found the ring.
Me: Yeah well but he did it in front of thousands of people.
Kitty: Awww.
Me: It's perfect.
Kitty: I better be your maid of honor or else...
Me: Or else what?
Kitty: Give me until November because I can't beat you up now cuz you're pregnant. Stupid Soda.
Me: Don't worry you're the one who I want to be my maid of honor.
Kitty: Really?
Me: Really.
Kitty: Awww.
Me: Happy now?
Kitty: Very much so.
Me: I'm just I don't know kinda depressed I guess.
Kitty: About being engaged to Mike?
Me: Oh hell no why would I say yes then?
Kitty: I don't know.
Me: I'm not going to have my dad to walk me down the aisle. That just really hurts a normal wedding has that.
Kitty: Listen Sandy I worried about that at first. But I have Darry or Soda to walk me down the aisle.
Me: Yeah I guess.
Kitty: And who the fuck cares about normal weddings? You know who has normal weddings normal people. And we are far from that.
Me: Really feel the love.
Kitty: Normal people are squeaky clean God loving virgins with a normal family. Last time I checked haha this cracks me up you're most defintally not a virgin.
Me: Shut up neither are you.
Kitty: Am I denying it?
Me: If I was there I would beat the shit out of you.
Kitty: Ohhh I'm so scared are you going to get the crowbar out again?
Me: Nope I'll think of something.
Kitty: That would be actually pretty hillarious. I'm sorry this might not be words of wisdom right now because I can totally sense you guys had sex last night.
Me: Kitty my hormones are freaking horny do you think I can survive a night without sex?
Kitty: Oh damn I'm gonna chop his dick off.
Me: You better not cut off Mike's.
Kitty: No you retard Soda's.
Me: No comment.
Kitty: Anywho I just picture you cuz you're big right now just beating the shit out of me with that crowbar again.
Me: Shut up KitKat Sarah Curtis.
Kitty: Are you trying to sound like Darry?
Me: I don't know. I don't wanna.
Kitty: You better not. Well if you weren't pregnant I would go all the way to New York and we would be drinking Whiskey and Rum.
Me: Vodka or Tequila would be nice too.
Kitty: And beer.
Me: At least you can have them.
Kitty: But I wanna throw you a party. But I already am but... opps.
Me: Did I just hear the word party?
Kitty: Nope.
Me: Yes I did are you throwing me a fuckin baby shower?
Kitty: Come on Sandy loosen up last time I threw you a baby shower you and Soda ended up going into a room fighting then having very loud makeup sex.
Me: I was 7 months pregnant I didn't know the.... results.
Kitty: Yeah but you're 3 months pregnant and I'm throwing you a baby shower whether you like it or not.
Me: Oh good God you're sounding like me.
Kitty: Ah shit.
Me: Yay.
Kitty: So when's the big day?
Me: I just got engaged last night I don't fuckin know.
Kitty: But like are you gonna be pregnant when you get married?
Me: Hell no I don't have the confidence to even step outside being fat. Do you think on the most important day of my life me out of all people will walk down the aisle pregnant? I have to be skinny when I do it.
Kitty: Remember our deal.
Me: Yeah yeah I know Doctor Phil.
Kitty: It's Doctor Kitty to you.
Me: No arguements there you could be a pretty good therapist.
Kitty: Because I'm just that sexy?
Me: Stop now you really are sounding like me I'm not liking this.
Kitty: Should I cleanse myself or something?
Me: You're a bitch.
Kitty: You're a bitch.
Me: Nooo you're a bitch.
Then I heard someone steal her phone.
Soda: Fine you're both bitches.
Kitty: No Soda you're a bitch.
Me: I agree with that.
Soda: What is this make fun of Soda day?
Kitty: You didn't hear it's a national holiday to celebrate your stupidity, your manwhoreness, and your petiteness. Now give me me freaking phone back.
I laughed at Kitty's..... niceness to her brother.
Kitty: So how's New York other wise?
Me: It's pretty good Mike got us a master suite in the W hotel. We went to Central Park today and made out on a blanket.
Kitty: Awww how romantic.
Me: It actually was.
Kitty: Are you scared to get married?
Me: Not really because I know it's only been a little bit but I love him and I know he's the right one.
Kitty: That was cute.
Me: Maybe because I am cute.
Kitty: Why yes Sandy I can just eat you up over your adorableness.
Me: Doesn't everyone?
Kitty: He proposed romantically even though we accidentally found the ring when I was on a search for your emergency bottle of tequila.
Me: Yeah it was amazing.
I saw Mike come in.
Mike: It's 10 o clock wanna go to bed?
Me: Yeah hold on.
Me: Hey I gotta go.
Kitty: Why are you gonna have sex?
Me: Nope gonna cuddle in bed and rent a movie on HBO.
Kitty: I'm beginning to think cuddle is a codename for sex.
Me: Shut up.
Kitty: Love ya bye.
Mike checked me out in my skimpy light blue lace nightie. We cuddled in bed and flipped through the movies.
Mike: Do you want Dear John, Letters To Juliet, I Am Number 4, The Notebook, or Mean Girls?
Me: All chickflicks. How about we get something we can both agree on?
Mike: I love you.
Me: I love you more.
He kissed me and tried taking off my nightie.
Me: Stop I want to watch a movie.
Mike: Fine.
Me: What about A League of Their Own or The Other Guys?
Me and Mike: The Other Guys.
We cuddled and watched The Other Guys. And no Kitty we did not have sex. I fell asleep in his arms and realized it was my first real day engaged and I love it and I hope for more.
:D Sandy

Everyone Has To Do It Sometime Or Later

He held my hand as the doctor applied that goo shit on my stomach.
Me: Please don't get it on my shirt this is a vintage Ralph Lauren.
Kitty laughed in the corner playing on the wheely chair.
Kitty: That's all you care about really?
Me: Shut up.
It appeared on the screen two tiny babies.
Doctor: You're having twin girls.
I smiled and wondered to myself if they were identical or fraternal. Kitty squealed in delight.
Kitty: Before you give them up name one of them Kitty please.
Me: Be lucky you can see them before I give them away.
Kitty stood there silently.
Mike: I bet they 're going to be beautiful just like you.
He kissed me.
Kitty: Seriously keep your hormones to yourself!
I slapped Kitty and she gave me the finger. I wiped off the stuff off my stomach and walked out of the room. Kitty insisted on coming because she wants one of them to be her minion -.- Kitty climbed into Soda's truck and blew me a kiss goodbye. We got into my crappy Volvo. Mike was silent it was pretty unusual. The sky cackled then it started pouring rain. Mike kept his eyes on his road.
Me: What's wrong?
Mike: What's wrong? Seriously? Sandy I can't keep on pretending that everything's okay. Like that it's my baby that you're carrying. And you're so careless about it!
He pulled up to the house and made his way to get in. I stood at the doorway.
Me: Leave.
Mike: Why?
Me: I love you and I don't deserve to be treated like crap.
Mike: Sandy..
Me: Leave! How can you go from insulting me and then trying to make everything okay?!?
With that note he left. Mascara poured down my cheeks I watched him leave his head down. And I saw he was crying. I wanted to yell don't leave. I went to the liquor cabinet and figured out the lock combo. Mark's birthday. 8-13-85. I got out my emergency bottle of Whiskey. I got out a glass and then Lexie came and snatched it away. I sulked to my room. I miss his sense of humor, I miss his eyes, I miss everything about him. I love him so why aren't I getting my man? I fell asleep and I realized I was still in my clothes. The clock said it was 2 am. I put my hair into a ponytail wiped away my tears and botled out the door. I knew he would be at the park near the pond. I sprinted down. I saw him sitting there his hands burried in his face.
Me: Mike.
He looked up at me and got up. I ran to him and my white drenched sundress soaked and see through splashing me.
Me: MIKE!
Me: Why did you start this do you not love me anymore?
Mike: Are you kidding? I'm in love with you completely in love with you.
Me: Then why did you act like a dick?!
Mike: I don't know I was just fed up that...
Me: What?
Mike: Nothing.
Me: Say it!
Mike: Okay! I'm fed up that you're not carrying my baby! I wish it's mine. Sandy I can't believe you would think for a second that I would ever fall out of love with you I'm completely in love with you.
I went closer to him he kissed me as the rain poured down. He kissed me and kissed me.
Me: I don't want to fight ever again.
He picked me up still kissing me and I wrapped my legs around his waist and we went home. Lexie and Adam were still awake as Mike slammed the door open. I ripped off his sweatshirt and we went upstairs our clothes falling off in the process.

_________________________________________________________________________________
I heard the door open. My voice hurt like a mother fucker. My hair was soaking wet Mike smiled at me.
Me: Shit I told Kitty she could come over today.
I handed him a pair of Mark's tee-shirts and basketball shorts. He got out of the room and Kitty said hi. I put on a robe and dried my hair. Kitty came up and held my damp dress and my bra.
Kitty: Care to explain?
Me: Not really.
Kitty: Let me guess you two had a fight then you had makeup sex.
Me: Pretty much.
Kitty: Wow.
Me: Shut up.
Kitty: Here I will let you take a shower because your hair looks like a rats nest after the wild makeup sex you had.
Me: Thanks.
I gave her the finger behind my back. I got changed afterwards and felt sudden relief that Danielle was sleeping over at Mark's.
Kitty: Was it good sex?
Me: Kitty!
Kitty: Answer the question.
Me: Well it was makeup sex...
Kitty: Are you kidding me? Two-Bit and I fight all the time and the makeup sex is the best. I mean whoa.
Me: Wow. So your question is answered.
I made my bed and Kitty sat on my white egg chair.
Me: Seriously your not going on my bed? It's made.
Kitty: You just had sex and I'm not touching those sheets.
I threw a pillow at Kitty. She grabbed the remote and flipped through the DVR.
Kitty: Seriously all you have is Glee, Jersey Shore, The Vampire Diaries, and Real World Las Vegas.
Me: Too bad.
Kitty: I need a drink.
Me: Look on my closet shelf I have a bottle of Tequila there.
She tried to reach for it being careful not to fall in her heels. Then an envelope fell down. Kitty picked it up.
Kitty: Two tickets to New York, May 14h.
Me: That's today!
Kitty: 2 tickets to the Yankees V.S Red Sox.
Me: Oh my God.
Kitty picked up a piece of folded paper.
Kitty: Ideas to propose: on the jumbotron, romantic night.
I nearly passed out. Kitty continued to look for her Tequila. Then a black velvet box fell. Kitty picked it up.
Kitty: Damn 2 weeks you two are getting married. Damn. After 2 weeks me and Two-Bit just had sex you two must really love eachother.
I stood in shock. Kitty opened up the box and there laid the most beautiful ring I ever laid eyes on.

Kitty squealed. Then Kitty found the Tequila.
Kitty: I will drink to this.
She took a swing of it and put it back. After an hour of watching Glee and me being in shock Kitty left. Mike came back. And I put the box and everything else back.
Mike: I found the house that we saw a couple of days ago for a decent price. Want to buy it?
Me: Yeah yeah sure.
Mike: Okay because I already called the real-estate agent and it's ours.
He threw me the keys. It's too much am I ready for this? He is the one...
Mike: And I got you a present. 2 tickets to New York up until Wednseday and Yankees V.S Red Sox tickets.
Me: Thanks.
I kissed him. His breath everything about him. I'm ready for this commitment. Danielle came home and I kissed her as I was packing. I put most of my shit into boxes being ready to move out. I took Danielle for a drive to our house. Danielle was in shock at how big it was to her.

Mike claims he is middle class but he is upper middle class since he can afford our new house. Danielle went running inside and was so happy. I took her to her room. The pink walls made her melt into a puddle. I took her back and kissed her goodbye. Mike and I went to the airport. The flight was mostly us making out. And me barfing half the flight. Thank God the doctor said the morning sickness goes away next month. I looked at the amazing city. We landed then I barfed again as Mike held my hair. We got to our hotel, the W hotel! Mike gave me the key and I ran up to the hotel room. It was absolutely gorgeous.

Then Mike suggested we try the bed out ;). It was nearly 6 pm and we had to go to the game. I got on my Mark Texiera jersey with a flimsy white camisole, jeggings, and 5 inch navy blue wedges. Mike and I rode the subway talk about scary. We got to the Bronx and we got to our seats in mid-field. I yelled at the Red Sox calling them dirty fuckers. The Yankees were losing so Mike and I started making out. They did the kiss cam and Mike and I did a GREAT kiss for them. Then I looked at the screen snuggling next to Mike. Then it said Sandy I love you and everything about you. You think you're the opposite of perfect while I think you're absolutely perfect. I love everything about you. I never loved anyone as much as you in my whole life. I can't imagine a day without you. Will you marry me? Mike was gone and he was on one knee I stood up.
Mike: Will you marry me?
<3333 Sandy

Where Did The Time Go?

Mike: Morning.
Me: Morning to you too.
Mike: Are you ready for our 2 week anniversary?
Me: I suppose.
Mike: That doesn't sound so enthusiastic to me.
Me: Trust me I am I just woke up. What time is it?
Mike: 11. I dropped Danielle off at daycare for you.
Me: You truly are amazing.
Mike: I do my best.
He kissed me.
Me: Why are you so amazing?
Mike: You're more amazing.
I shrugged my shoulders and pulled down the adult medium Revis Island shirt Mike got me. I sat up and Mike brought out a breakfast tray with a small vase of pink lillies my favorite. Then I gasped at how amazing he is. My all time favorite breakfast meal in the whole world.

Me: You did not go to IHOP and get the kids funny face.
Mike: But I did. I got IHOP for everyone Danielle loved it.
Me: You officially are the most amazing person that ever existed.
He kissed me.
Mike: Eat I even got you chocolate milk.
I ate my funny face and downed my chocolate milk. Mike cleared away the dishes and washed them! xD. I took a shower and got changed. I put on my medium elastic Michael Kors gold tiered tank dress with a pair of matching gold sandals. I let my hair in it's natural waves and put on my charm bracelet with the charm Mike got me. I took my black Juicy Couture bag and placed Mike's anniversary present in it.

I felt his silver rolex bouncing in the box as I walked. He always complains he needs a watch for special occasions so I got him one :). It has S.D + M.M in the center of the watch. :). I went downstairs as Mike looked adorable in his navy blue polo, basketball length khaki shorts, and his fancy Nike's. I smiled at him. He grabbed my hand and he led me to the car. I turned on the radio and put on On The Floor. After me singing along with the radio and Mike laughing at how adorably tone-deaf he is xD. He got an unsettling look on his face. His shoulders tensed.
Mike: You know how we met at the clinic?
Me: Yeah...
Mike: Why were you there? I mean like at bulimic's anonymous because I was picking Jessica up from it. Jessica has only been doing it for 2 months and Lily caught her in the act. It was kinda my descion to sign her up. But if I never picked up Jessica I would have never met you. Just tell me why you were there.
I cleared my throat.
Me: I've been battling bulimia for about 4 years now. I was never fat. I was always athletic gymnastics, swimming, cheerleading, softball, dancing, basketball, and so much more. And my mom made me model normal clothes, bikinis, and lingerie. So at a Victoria's Secret catalog shoot. And I was getting a snack and I was in just a bra and a lace thong. The models were always jealous of me because I had bigger boobs than them and I was younger and mine are real. And they started poking me like I was the Pillsbury Dough Boy. They called me fat and I weighed 110 pounds. I never considered myself fat. In the gang I was always the smallest one. 5 ft 5 and 110 pounds everyone was so jealous of me that I never gained weight because I ate so much crap. But after that happened to me I went home and ate everything in sight for comfort. Then I went to the bathroom to redo my hair. Then I ripped off all of my clothes that I was only in my underwear and bra. I had this huge makeover in the summer of 8th grade. My mom was tired of my dark highlights and all of my non girly girl stuff. Me and my best friend, Evie, we had matching nose piercings in 7th grade but mine closed up in 8th grade. After my makeover when ever I looked in the mirror I saw a tallish, natural blonde, deep meaningful blue eyes, a D chest that you never have to wear a pushup bra and you have to get custom made bras because you can never fit into normal ones, and a smoking hot body. But when I looked in the mirror I saw an obese blonde girl. I thought do I always look this way? I tried to pinch the fat that was hanging off my thong but I pinched air. Then I looked for any stretchmarks. I took deep breaths trying to tell myself I am okay. But the problem was I wasn't. I eyed the extra toothbrush on the counter then I couldn't resist myself because I got this bubbling feeling in my stomach that urged me to do it. Then I stuck the toothbrush side with the bristles going right down my throat. After that I couldn't control it. It was a routine. Wakeup, puke, brush teeth, shower, get changed, go to cheerleading, go straight to class, run 3 miles instead of lunch, makeout with any guy, go home, binge, purge, brush teeth, homework, cheerleading, dance, gymnastics, pretend to eat dinner, puke, go to bed. And do the same the next day. The lowest I've weighed was about 50 pounds. That's went I was wilting away you saw every bone in my chest, my legs were as thin as twigs, and my hair lost it's volume. It was 2 months after Danielle was born after she was born I went up a cup size. But at that time I was flat chested. I was in Boca at the time. I was at cheerleading practice and it was about 90 degrees outside. I was on top of the pyramid and I felt lightheaded but kept my smile. Then I fell of the pyramid from the dizziness. I woke up and everyone was hovering over me. My head throbbed as I saw a swarm of ponytails in my face. They asked me when was the last time I ate and I lied saying at lunch. They helped me up then I fell back down. They helped me but when I tried to get back up I hit my head again. I woke up attatched to tubes and I had an IV in my arm. My grandparents were crying just saying she's gone. The doctor came in and never diagnosed me as bulimic. They just told me to eat or I will be dead that week. I ate and weighed up to 97 pounds. Then started my diet again. I told you I moved back to Tulsa with Danielle you know that whole story with Soda and Bob. And after my mom died I did a bit of an OD on Ecstasy. But they still didn't diagnose me. I always lied to people saying that I didn't do it anymore. But I always have. I only stopped when I got pregnant then started again. I landed in the hospital a couple of weeks ago I told you that. And they told me I'm not only killing myself but my unborn children. That made me want to get help. So I did. No one's perfect I have so many flaws. But I guess when you're in love the person you're in love with has no flaws. They diagnosed me as bulimic for the first time. I try to keep it together for Danielle. To make myself look like a model parent. When Danielle's a teenager I don't know what will happen if she gets pregnant or is bulimic. Before I got pregnant again I was a complete mess. I told you how I dated Sam. And I was stressed beyond belief. I drank half a bottle of Whiskey, Rum, Vodka, or Tequila. I couldn't survive without taking at least one Ecstasy. And whenever I saw Danielle I tried to be sober. But I can't keep it together I'm falling apart. The only things that make me stay sane are you and Danielle. I'm not perfect fuck it I don't think anyone is. I might seem perfect to you but I'm not.
Mike: Hey you are perfect no matter what you're flaws are.
Me: Really?
Mike: Really. I love you Sandy.
Me: I love you too.
He pulled up to the mall parking lot.
Me: No way!
Mike: Yes way.
I squealed in delight as he helped me out of the car. We held hands walking into Lord and Taylor. The smell of Coach Poppy reminded me of all the free stuff I recieved and all of the expensive stuff. I inhaled it again. Amazing.
Mike: Anything you want my treat.
I squealed. We walked around the store.
Me: I don't know if you want to come but I have a doctors appointment later this week and I'm finding out the babies sex's.
Mike: I will come.
Me: And on Sunday a lot of couples are coming to the house. I'm interviewing them to see if they're fit to take care of the twins. And I get to see them occasionally.
Mike kissed me. I saw nothing in particular. None of the Chanel mini dresses in my old size 0 matched up to Mike. We walked over to Victoria's Secret. I got more bras.
Mike: I can't believe you were a model here. Was Soda mad?
Me: He didn't care.
Mike: I'm dating a model.
Me: You like it?
Mike: I'm in love with a model.
He kissed me in front of everyone. I looked for more bras. Mike came over to me with some of his favorite selections. He held up a thong that looked like a rubber glove. I shook my head. He held up more g-strings and I simply replied you wish. Mike wondered off as I got more underwear. I looked for him but he went to Tiffany. I didn't chase after him I just purchased my stuff. Mike was still there so I got Gators sweatpants and all of the matching things in a large. Mike came back and I was beyond curious. But I kept it to myself. We walked back to the car. We just sang along to my Glee Soundtrack. He pulled up to the beach.
Me: No way really?
Mike: I'm full of surprizes aren't I?
I smiled then Mike opened the trunk and got out 2 beach bags and a picnic basket.  We walked up to the beach.
Me: How are we supposes to have fun at the beach with no bathing suits?
Mike: I bought you that navy blue and gold Michael Kors sexy one piece that you always wanted in the catalog. I asked Lexie what size and I got you a size 6.
Me: My pregnant size right now.
Mike: You got it.
I grabbed my bathing suit and got changed into it. Mike got changed into a pair of old basketball shorts and no shirt xD. We held hands and walked onto the warm sand. He put his hand on my stomach.
Mike: You're getting bigger.
Me: Shut up I know.
Mike: When are you do?
Me: Early November they think November 9th at the earliest and November 13th at the latest. But they don't know because they might run out of room and I will have to go into early labor.
Mike: I'm by your side no matter what.
Me: I love you.
Mike: I love you too.
He laid down a blue beach towel. Then had my white iPod speakers and put in my iPod touch my 18th birthday present. He put on the Glee version of Bruno Mars' Marry You. I smiled and pulled down my Prada aviators. We cuddled on the blanket and I tried to teach him a simple dance to Glee Forget You. Mike gave up after I started trying to point his toes. Mike was making sure I wasn't hurting the babies by dancing. And I told him I'm fine because even celebrities pre-natal pole dance and then he asked me if I could do it for him ;). I tried to teach Mike how to dougie but he gave up on that too. Then he watched me dougie and told me I was sexy at it. Mike buried my swollen feet then gave me a massage. Mike ate a hamburger and I had a veggie burger. We both had a HUGE thing of fries. Mike got me an extra large vanilla milkshake and he had a chocolate one. We started building sandcastles and mine beats his.

Mike's sandcastle

My sandcastle.
We made out some more until people started yelling at us. Whops.
Mike: I know this is sudden but would you want to move in my house or yours or we find our own place. You, me, and Danielle.
Me: Yes absolutely. Let's find our own place.
Mike: Sandy.
Me: Mike.
It was perfect the sun was setting and it was just perfect. I got his present out.
Me: Here happy anniverary baby.
Mike: It's perfect.
He smiled and kissed me. I stood up and brushed sand off my ass. Mike wrapped his arms around me.
Me: We should get going I don't want to miss Glee.
Mike: Okay.
We went back to the house and watched Glee in our pajamas. Mike held me as I cried when Kurt got nominated prom queen. He laughed when I was yelling at the TV for Brittany not saying yes to Artie. Mike gave me diamond earrings from Tiffany. xD. I wasn't hoping for a ring or anything it's too soon. But I wouldn't care if he did because he's the most amazing person in the world. We know everything about eachother and each day is like the first. Exact quote Michael Tyler Montgomery. xD. We cuddled and fell asleep in eachother's arms as Danielle and the other uhm didn't hear what was going on up here.
;) Sandy

I love you Mike <333

Mother's Day

Evie: What's wrong Soda didn't go to your cheerleading practice?
Me: Leave me alone.
Evie: I'm your best bitch you can tell me anything.
Me: This I can't.
Evie: Come on.
I shrugged my shoulders and walked away. I walked to cheerleading practice. The fast beat of Boom Boom Pow came on. I squatted in my position feeling immediate nausea. Everyone did their roundoffs. Then I strattle jumped up and went running into a front handspring flip. I felt like I was about to puke any minute. I thought my face was green. My mind felt like it was on an endless roller coaster. They picked me up and I flipped off they caught me then they put me on the top. We smiled big and proud of our pyramid. I felt like shit. My knees were quivering about to collapse any minute. Then we broke apart and someone caught me. I sprinted to the bathroom to puke. I ran and got my white bag from my duffle bag. I sprinted into the bathroom making sure no one will see me. I tore open the wrapper. And got the 3 pregnancy tests out of the box. I peed on the first one hoping with all of my heart it will be negative. I bought 6 boxes with 1 tests in each. I peed on the first one. I waited and bounced all around the bathroom. My short skirt twirling on my hips. Then it came. I grabbed 6 different types of pregnancy tests so this one was the worst. -.- It had a smiley face. A simple smiley face. I looked on the box. It said smiley face= pregnant. My face turned bright red. I felt dizzy. I tore open another box. I waited another 3 minutes staring at my flushed reflection. The test came. Pregnant. I couldn't breath. I opened another box barely having enough pee left. I waited and waited. Then 2 pink lines. I laid them all on the sink counter. I lifted up my shirt. I just thought I was getting fat. I gave up eating to maintain my size 0 body. I looked up at my usual body. My red and black lace bra was too big from giving up eating. Where you can once see my ribs was .... average looking. I face was flushed. I felt like I was about to faint. I started drinking my water bottle again hoping to generate enough pee for another pregnancy test. The last time I had sex was 2 months ago. And that was a new record for me the longest I've gone without sex was a week. The last person I had sex with was Bob then before that Soda. The tears started coming again. The door opened my heart did a front/ backhandspring flip which I was supposed to do right now. She came in and I sighed in relief. Her brown hair was in a messy ponytail. She fiddled with her nose piercing. We got matching ones in 7th grade but mine closed up in 9th grade. Her face went pale. She crossed her arms over her Ramones tee-shirt I got her in 6th grade that fit her but was tight across her chest. She fixed the strap on her black leather work boots. Then twirled a piece of her new blue highlights.
Evie: What's going on?
Me: Nothing.
I hid the boxes of the pregnancy tests behind my back. I forgot about the 3 positive pregnancy tests on the sink counter.
Evie: Is there something you want to tell me? Maybe something that you were uncomfortable about and didn't tell me this morning?
I burst into tears once again.
Me: They aren't mine.
Evie: No one would leave 3 different types of positive pregnancy tests in a public bathroom.
Me: I'm scared.
Evie: Aww Sandy.
Me: I just found out today. I recognized the symptoms of weight gain. So I gave up eating to maintain my body. But I can't believe I ignored it because I'm that much of a baby.
Evie: Hey everything's going to be okay.
Me: That's the problem it's not.
Evie: Hey come here.
She wrapped her skinny arms around me. I saw her new tattoo on her collarbone of 3 stars. Stars are our thing I got them on my foot then I got a rose on my ankle while I was at it. Her black nail polished hands were around me.
Me: I can't believe it.
Evie: Shhh...
The door opened again it was Blair, Kitty, and Jelly. They saw my tear streaked face.
Blair: Is there something going on here?
Evie let go of me and I wiped my face with the back of my hand. I put on such a fake smile that I deserved an Oscar for. Kitty's eyes darted from the positive pregnancy tests to me. Jelly had a smirk on her face.
Jelly: Who's are those?
Evie: They're mine.
Kitty: Steve knocked you up?
Evie: You got that right.
Blair: Really?
Evie: Are you blind don't you see my positive pregnancy tests?
Blair: Uhm yeah.
Kitty sighed in relief. And they fixed their hair and went back to class.
Me: Thanks you really saved my life. If Kitty found out she would tell Soda.
Evie: But you gotta tell him eventually he is the baby daddy.
Me: Uhm yeah that's what I'm worried about...
Evie: Huh?
Me: Well I got the symptoms 2 months ago. When I slept with Soda. I tried to ignore it so I went to a party and I slept with.... with with Bob Sheldon. And I don't know who's the father.
Evie: Oh Sandy. You gotta tell him no matter what he will stay by your side.
Me: I think I will hold off for a little bit.
Evie: Whatever you want to do. I gotta head back to class I already have a F in Syme's class and that's me actually showing up.
She headed towards the door.
Me: Evie.
Evie: Yeah?
Me: Thanks you truely are my best bitch.
She laughed and stuffed her hands in her pockets and headed back to class.
Some people become mothers when their baby is laid on their chest. But I became a mother the moment I found out I was pregnant. Without Evie's help I would be in shock till this day. Evie thanks for helping me through my 1st pregnancy and you can help me with this one :) Some people don't care if you're a mother already or if you're excepting and they aren't the one. If they accept you then you absolutely know they're the right one. And people despise mother's day. But I love it. Not the cards from your two year old that has 2 pounds of chunky glitter from the glue on it and not even in English. Not the cards, the roses, or the kisses from the perfect guy who isn't even the baby daddy. Not the chocolates from your kid and your perfect boyfriend. Not the peaceful day at the park with your daughter and your amazing boyfriend. But being a mother in general. Some babies are planned, unplanned, months early, or years late. But they are all human and deserved to be loved. You really have that deep mother and child connection when the doctor lays your baby on your chest. Danielle Grace Davis you make me crazy with your princess obsession but I absolutely love you baby. You're the one who made me grow up. I love you and I could celebrate another holiday because of you. I love you.
<33 Sandy

You Never Go Through Anything Alone When You're With The Right One

I balanced Danielle on my hip as she played with my hair. My cellphone blasted "Eternal Flame" And I immdiately knew it was Mike.
Me: Hey.
Mike: Hey what are you doing today?
Me: I have a doctor's appointment.
He noticed the weakness in my voice.
Me: And I have to go alone. Because uhm Soda doesn't want anything to do with it. And right now I'm just scared.
Tears streamed down my face. When you're pregnant you know you have to wear waterproof mascara. Or else you're just screwed.
Mike: Hey it's okay. I could go with you. It will be our date today.
Me: I don't know. You might feel uncomfortable.
Mike: Listen Sandy. I don't care as long as I'm with you it's all that matters.
Me: Really?
Mike: Really. So I will come over.
Me: Thanks.
I wiped the tears off my face. I got showered and changed. Danielle was running around the house naked. I picked her up. She ran out of the freaking bathtub when I wanted to dry her off. I put her in a light blue sundress and put her hair in pigtails. I kissed her to death.
Me: Danielle do you like Mike?
Danielle: Daddy?
I nearly passed out. She never called Matt, Sam, or Chris "Daddy" Well Mike loves Danielle like she's his own daughter. I hugged Danielle and set her down. I laid down on the couch with a bag of carmel popcorn laying on my chest. Hey I get cravings that are salty and sweet. I watched Jersey Shore reruns because the new season isn't coming soon enough. :(. The doorbell rang. I fixed my red halter top. And I fixed my leggings. I fixed my black strappy Christain Louboutin heels. My feet are soo freaking swollen it takes me legit 20 minutes to put on heels. And they kill! Mike came to the door in a Gator tee-shirt, ripped jeans, and orange and green Nikes.
Me: My family already likes you.
Mike: Why you say that?
Me: You're a Gators fan.
Mike: You're one too?
Me: Die hard college football Gator fan.
He kissed me. I felt his hand moving near my ass.
Me: Hey you can't touch my fat ass.
Mike: It's not fat it's sexy.
I kissed him. And put his hand on my back. I had to restrain myself and my fucking horny hormones from ripping off his adorable Gators shirt. I held his hand and lead him to the living room.
Mike: What time is your doctor's appointment?
Me: Three.
Mike: So that gives us time...
Me: For what?
Mike: Anything.
I gave him a wink.
Me: Hmmm I will do anything you want to.
Mike: Really?
Me: Yeah.
I turned on Teen Mom 2.
Mike: That's not exactally what I want...
I gave him a wink. We kissed. I turned back to the TV to make him want me more.
Mike: Hey.
Me: This is a pretty good show...
He grabbed my face and kissed me. We kissed and kissed. We got up still kissing and lead ourselves into my room. I slammed the door with my foot. We made out on my bed.
Mike: Hey babe I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable or pressured to do it. I really like you and with your situation I don't want you to do anything you don't want to.
I sat up and put my hair into a ponytail.
Me: It's not like I don't want to do it... I mean trust me I've gone almost I think 3 months without sex. And I want it. But I feel like every guy just has sex with me and runs off. Like I want a real relationship where I'm not pregnant with someone else's kid. Where we love eachother and have sex. I want that fairy tale relationship.
Mike held my face.
Mike: Trust me. When I'm with you I feel like it's unreal you're drop dead gorgeous. Pregnant or not. I love how much we have in common. I love it when we are in the car and you sing along with the radio. And you have such a good voice. I love how every step you take you're rehearsing a dance move. I love how your daughter is your first priority. I love your blue eyes. They're deep and describe your whole personality. I love your blonde hair. I love every thing about you Sandy. I don't know what you feel. But I feel like I'm living that "fairy tale" relationship when I'm with you.
He leaned in close and wiped a stray piece of hair away from my face. I leaned in and kissed him. We kissed again then went back to the living room. We cuddled on the couch. Until Danielle started hollering. I picked her up and she watched TV with us. The babysitter came because I had to leave for my appointment. We drove in my car. Well actually Mike drove. I sang ET along with the radio. We got out of the car. We sat down on the ugly ass chairs that people probably had sex on. -.- Mike held my hand as I nervousily twitched my foot. My teeth chattered in fear. I don't know why I was so scared but I just was. Next to me was a pregnant girl around her early 30's kissed her husband. When I imagined being at the OB GYN I imagined myself married. Actually happy to be pregnant. At my first OB GYN appointment when I was pregnant with Danielle, I was so scared I made Evie come. And she said she was the baby daddy and she was swivelling around on the chair and put doctor gloves on to relieve the tension. They called me in I winced. Mike held my hand and came in with me. They lead us into a room that instantally gave me chills running up and down my spine. I laid down and pulled up my light blue tank top to reveal my baby bump. I smoothed out my white pencil skirt. Mike held my hand. The doctor came in.
Dr. Forbes: Hey Sandy. We are just going to check you out.
Me: Okay.
She poured that goo shit on my stomach. I instantly got goosebumps from how freaking cold it was. Mike gave me a smile simply assuring me that everything will be okay. She found one heartbeat then the other one.
Dr. Forbes: Everything looks okay from the point of view that you were underweight. But most twins are pre-mature. And you will be 3 months pregnant in a couple of weeks. To be exact 2 weeks. They are doing fine. They are almost fully developed organ wise. You could have them at 7 months but I don't think any earlier. But they are healthy good luck Sandy.
Me: Thanks.
I pulled my shirt down to not feel like a beached whale. We left the OB GYN place. Mike was completly silent in the car. I lowered down Rolling In The Deep. Something was defintally wrong. Mike kept his eyes on the road.
Me: What's wrong?
Mike: Are you serious Sandy? Before at your house I ammiditted that I love you. After a week. I'm completly in love with you Sandy. And you didn't say anything back.
Me: But I do Mike I do.
Mike: Whatever.
Tears filled the corners of my eyes. I DO LOVE HIM! But how do I explain it? I texted Kitty to come to Karoke Night tonight with Two-Bit, Blair and Dally. And I invited Elena to get to know her better. Do I sound weird today? I think soooo.... xD. I want to prove I love him back. He told me he loves my voice when I think I have a shitty one. But I'm judgemental to myself. On one of our dates we danced to Eternal Flame by The Bangles. Hmmmm that's it. So once Mike parked the car he stayed at the house he played with Danielle. I got changed into something sexy, eyepopping. = something that hides my baby bump. I settled on a flowy red halter top, leggings, and black Jimmy Choos. I let my hair in it's natural waves. I applied lip gloss and gold hoops and smiled at my reflection.
Me: Come on we are going to Karoke Night.
Mike: Whatever.
GRRR!!!! We drove to the restaurant that was hosting it. Turns out Mike works there and it was his shift. I found Kitty kissing Two-Bit, Blair and Dally hugging, and Elena went alone. I sat next to Elena at the bar.
Me: Seltzer with lemon please.
I felt so stupid for dragging everyone here.
Elena: You okay?
Me: Not really...
After the performance was over I was so fed up. I went up on stage. Elena stared at me with her mouth wide open.
Elena: What are you doing?!?
Me: Hey everyone. I've been through so much lately. Words can't describe my feelings for Michael Tyler Montgomery. We've only known each other for one week. But Mike I love you. So... here I am feeling a little loopy not knowing what to do.
I saw a guy come towards Elena. Oh yeah that's Colby. They're just friends but stilll they look cute together. I whispered to the band guy.
Me: Can you do Eternal Flame?
They nodded and I took a deep breath. I started singing. Elena stood there smiling at me. Kitty smiled in shock. Blair smiled with Dally's arms around her. Halfway through the song as I was holding my note I saw Mike coming toward me.
Me: Mike I...
He grabbed me and kissed me like never before.
Mike: I love you too.
I felt such relief as I met his lips once again. I can't believe I dragged everyone there for that. Well too bad. I finshed the song as Mike stood on the side of the stage smiling. I got off the stage. Mike's warm hand wrapped around mine.
Mike: Happy one week anniversary.
He pulled out a heart Tiffany charm with our initals engraved in it.
S.D +
M.M= Forever
I kissed him again.
Me: Sorry I don't have a present for you.
Mike: Babe. You had the guts to go up on stage and sing your feelings for me I think that beats this.
He gave me another kiss. I went over to Kitty, Elena, and Blair.
Me: Sorry for dragging you here.
Kitty: Eh you drag me to everything these days.
I smiled.
Elena: Are you kidding you have such a good voice!
Me: Thanks Elena you're really nice.
She smiled and started talking to Colby.
Blair: You were good Sandy.
Then she returned to kissing Dally. Mike wrapped his arms around me. We danced and danced.
Mike: I love you.
Me: I love you too.
And for once I actually meant it. I haven't said it since Sam well I have but I didn't mean it. Then we returned to kissing. We went back home and played with Danielle. We made out for an hour or two then I cuddled up to the most amazing man that's ever been in my life. My boyfriend that I love, Michael Tyler Montgomery.
xD Sandy

Me and Mike at the movies seeing Hop.

Everyone Needs A Savior

My stomach growled in frustration. I pulled at my tight pajama shorts. I snuggled up onto Mike's chest. No we did not have sex if that's what you're thinking. My stomach growled again begging for me to pay attention to it. Then the craving kicked in. Fuck.
Me: Mike are you hungry?
Mike: No it's 2 am.
Me: I'm hungry.
Mike: Sandy wait until breakfast.
Me: I can't!
Mike: What do you want?
Me: Chocolate covered potato chips.
Mike: Have it for breakfast.
Me: Mikeee pleaseeeee.
He fixed his sexy messy bed hair and gave me an adorable smile.
Mike: Sandyyyyy. Hey this game is fun.
Me: Fine.
I stormed out of the room. My stomach growled again.
Me: Shut up!
I picked up my phone off the kitchen counter. I scrolled through my contacts. And then clicked send. Amazingly she answered on the 2nd ring.
Kitty: Sandy what the fuck could you possibly want at 2:15 a.m?!?!
Me: Kitty do you want to get me chocolate covered potato chips?
Kitty: Not exactally.
Me: Please Kitty I'm dying here. I'm proud that I'm even eating.
Kitty: What will you do for me if I run and go get you your food?
Me: I will be your best friend.
Kitty: You're already one of mine try again.
Me: Name anything I'm dying here.
Kitty: You won't drag me to one of those Bulimics Anonymous meetings ever again.
Me: Deal. Kitty come soon.
I thought about Kitty's deal. She was about to call me a bitch when I wanted her to go to all of the meetings with me. But she caught herself because if she did she would put the fuze on the Hormonal Bitch bomb. Because my hormones are so out of control! Last time Kitty called me a bitch I was cursing her out then I started crying. -.- The last time she talked to me about the uhm problem we both have was when she kidnapped me. Now she won't say a word about it. I understand it's a personal subject but you have to talk to people about it. Or you will end up like me last week. -.- Everyone needs someone by their side when their battling something as deathly as an eating disorder. Mike has actually been really supportive because he understands because of his little sister, Jessica. I only dragged her to the meeting a couple of days ago is because bottom line is I'm scared. I hate dealing with this alone. I felt like I was alone. No one understands. I also did it because I love Kitty deeply and I understand what she is going through because I'm going through it too. I yawned and jumped off the bar stool. I looked around the fridge for food before I legit died of hunger. Hair fell into my face as I looked around. It smelled like vomit. Well I did wake up 6 times to puke. I didn't have morning sickness more like night sickness. I found nothing appetizing to my craving. I started stomping my foot in frustration. Kitty came to the door. She held what I was waiting for. I eagerly grabbed it and dove right in. Kitty looked so tired. Sorry Kitty xD.
Kitty: You're a bitch for making me go on an effin food run.
Me: Sorry.
Potato chips fell out of my mouth when I talked with my mouth full. Total turn on. I swallowed my food. I cleared my throat.
Me: I'm sorry for making you go to the retarted meeting. Kitty you're one of the most bravest, most prettiest, most smartest, and don't forget nicest girls I've ever met. I know you hate me for making you go to it. So be preapared to hear one of the rarest times you will hear Sandy...
Kitty: Samantha!
She burst out laughing. And then consoled herself.
Me: Samantha... Sincerly appoligize. Kitty I love you sooo much you're like my sister. So I'm sorry for that. And you don't have to go to anymore meetings. And I think you're beyond decent you're an amazing person. And those are a couple of reasons why I love KitKat Sarah Curtis.
Kitty smiled. She didn't say a word. She reached in for a giant bear hug. She backed away quickly.
Me: Am I a bad hugger or something?
Kitty: One of your babies just kicked me.
Me: They recognize "Aunt Kitty".
Kitty: They better. And Sandy I know I call you a bitch sometimes and I may act like a complete bitch. But I do it with love. And Sandy you're making me feel amazing actually. But you're the one who has lower self-esteem than me!
I blushed knowing it was true.
Kitty: Well Sandy darling as much as I loved our girl convo and the food run. I'm tired and Two-Bit probably didn't even realize I'm gone yet. And I'm tired. So night.
I hugged her and threw away my empty bag of chocolate covered potato chips. I crawled back into bed. Mike turned onto his side and hugged me.
Me: Do you think I'm pretty?
Mike: You're one of the prettiest girls I've ever seen in my whole life.
Me: Not the prettiest?
I batted my eyelashes.
Mike: The prettiest.
He kissed me like he never had before. Mike smiled.
Mike: You're breath tastes like chocolate covered potato chips.
Me: Not as good as I excpected.
He laughed and put his arms around me then we eventually fell asleep.
The light shined in. I could hear Hannah and Lexie arguing from downstairs. I groaned. It was 10 am. I heard Danielle arguing how Abby Cadabby is better than Elmo to Lexie. And Adam blasting ESPN. Lovely house eh? I'm Canadian today. xD. Mike was watching Sports Center in my room at the lowest volume careful not to wake me up. The sweetest. I opened my eyes and cuddled on his chest. He wrapped his arm around me. We've only known each other for 3 days but it feels so much longer. That's what happens when you're falling for someone hard core.
Mike: Hey sleepy head.
Me: Hey.
He leaned in for a kiss. A few inches away from each other. I could smell his cologne. Then...
Me: SHIT!
I ran out of my bed covering my mouth careful not to puke anywhere. I ran to the bathroom. I puked my guts out. I heard Mike run over to the bathroom.
Mike: Are you okay?
I started puking more. I moaned. Mike reached into one of the sink drawers and pulled my hair into a ponytail making sure none fell into my way. He stayed right by my side. I finished and wiped my mouth. The room smelled like vomit. Attractive. -.- I started crying.
Mike: What's wrong?
Me: You don't want a pregnant girl! How can you seriously find a fat girl like me attractive?
Mike: Shhh Sandy. I think you're beautiful and I don't care because you're pregnant. You're not fat you're pregnant and you're still hot.
I hugged him as I silently yelled at my pregnant hormones. We went down stairs and ate breakfast. I was showered and dressed and Mike smiled at me as I pranced in.
Me: I gotta go to the meeting.
Mike: Okay I'll wait here. Jessica is already there.
I got my car keys and left. It was pretty damn boring. Why would it be interesting? After it was over I went over to Jessica. Her dirty blonde waves went down to her back. Her twinkling eyes reminded me of Mike. I fixed any wrinkles in my green blouse. And any lint on my black pencil skirt. I fixed my green suede flats and made my approach.
Me: Hi I'm Sandy.
Jessica: I know. Mike talks about you all the time I want to shoot him because of it.
Me: Yeah but he is pretty amazing.
Jessica: Not when you know him like I do.
Me: Yeah but Mike told me about you're mom. And listen I might not understand. But you could come to me with any questions. You know?
Jessica: Uhm thanks that was surprisingly nice from one of Mike's girlfriends.
I stiffened and said a quick goodbye. I threw my keys into the glass bowl in the dining room. I went over to Mike on the couch. We cuddled and then we decided to go on a movie date. We snuck into a movie at the Dingo. I mean really who actually pays these days? We saw Soul Surfer and I was a complete wreck. I don't know if it was my hormones or it was just soo effin sad! I drove him back to his house. We kissed then I drove back to my house. Danielle went to sleep with me. I smiled. I thought about Jessica's and Mike's situation. Their mom walked out on them after their youngest sibling, Lily, was born. Jessica and Lily have no girl to talk to. And Mike is trying to play the dad role because his dad is a workaholic. But I looked on the bright side and thought about my day with Mike then I just thought. Yeah it was a pretty good day.
:) Sandy

Jessica

Feels Great

I pulled my hair into a sloppy ponytail and lazily walked into Danielle's room. She ran out of her Cinderella Carriage bed to greet me. I picked her up and yawned. She pointed at my expanding belly. I sighed. I fixed my Team DJ Pauly D shirt. xD. I fixed my green striped pajama pants and walked into the kitchen. I put Danielle into her booster seat chair thingy. I got out eggs and bacon to start making for everyone. The doorbell rang. I groaned as I shuffled to the door. Mike was standing at the door smiling. His brown hair looking absolutely perfect. He fixed his Nikes.
Me: Hey what are you doing here?
Mike: I wanted to see you. You promised me we would have a date today.
Me: Yeah I know. But I legit just got out of bed a couple of minutes ago.
Mike: You still look hot.
I giggled. He wrapped his muscular arms around my waist. I turned around and stared into his soulful light brown eyes. He leaned in and kissed me. We made out.
Me: Are you hungry?
Mike: Starving.
Me: I was just about to make breakfast.
Mike: I'll wait here.
He sat at the table next to Danielle.
Mike: And is this Danielle?
I cracked an egg into the sizzling pan.
Me: Yes it is. Danielle say hi.
Danielle: Hi.
Man was she quiet.
Mike: She looks just like you. She's beautiful just like you.
Me: Stop I'm fat.
Mike: There's a difference between fat and pregnant.
Me: Whatever.
I finished cooking and set breakfast on the table. I feel like I've known Mike so much longer than just one day. I don't know. We ate our food then Danielle and I took a bath. I got changed as Mike waited in the living room. I pranced out in a black high-waisted skirt, white tanktop, and black and white flipflops. Danielle was taking a nap. I flopped down on the couch.
Me: So what do you want to do today?
Mike: I don't know.
I gave him a flirty wink. I took off my shoes and laid my feet on him.
Mike: Why did you move to Florida before?
Me: Well uhm my parents kicked me out when they found out I was pregnant. I was living with my boyfriend then I found out the baby wasn't his. As soon as I found out I took the first plane to Florida and I lived with grandparents in Boca. A couple of months after the baby was born I was sick and tired of them so I moved to Miami with my friends. But I've always been homesick. So I moved back to Tulsa a couple of months ago.
Mike smiled at me. Boy he is hot. ;). Hannah rubbed her eyes and fixed her boyshorts. She wore green boyshorts and a flimsy camisole. Slut. She ate breakfast and jumped in the shower.
Mike: I want to do anything you want to.
Me: I don't know.
Mike: Well let's go to the park then.
Me: Okay.
I went into Hannah's and Lexie's room as they both did their makeup.
Me: Hey I need one of you to babysit Danielle.
Hannah: I will.
Me: Thanks have so much.
Lexie: Use protection with your gorgeous boyfriend.
Me: I'm already knocked up it's not going to create a 3rd.
Lexie: You don't know.
I threw a pillow at her and left the room.
Mike wrapped his arm around me and we left. We walked to the park. We went by the pond. We held hands. Mike leaned in and kissed me. He put his arms around my neck. He is taller than me. Maybe about 6 ft. Or 6 ft 1. I'm only 5 ft 5. -.- We sat down near the water. He put his arm around me as we sat. I skipped rocks across the water.
Me: A lot of memories here....
Mike tensed.
Mike: Yeah like what?
I laughed in my mind. Cuz I had a couple of hookups here. It was before Soda. But still I can't tell Mike I actually really like him. xD.
Me: I always came here when my parents were fighting. When they were drunk because they abused me. I have scares from them.
He traced his fingers along my scare on my thumb. That I needed stitches for. He held my hand and kissed it.
Mike: How do you feel about them.... Not here anymore?
Me: I uhm words can't really describe it. I'm relieved because they abused all of us. But you feel like something's missing.
Mike: It's okay.
He wiped away the tears silently falling down my cheek.
Me: So which one was your sister?
Mike: The small one with the light brown hair.
I remembered her face. She was actually beautiful dirty blonde hair, hazel eyes, and her face makes a boy want to take a double look at her.
Me: Hmmm what's her name?
Mike: Jessica.
Me: Pretty.
He held my hand tight. I leaned on his chest.
Mike: Want to have a little fun?
Me: No I will not do a strip tease for you.
I gave him a wink.
Mike: Damn. Since I don't get that want to have a competition?
Me: Like what?
Mike: Who can skip a rock the farthest.
Me: Deal I'm a pro.
Mike: Wait let's make this a little interesting. If I win I get a 20 minute strip tease from you. If you win what do you want?
Me: You have to go shopping with me the whole day.
Mike: Do I get to go in the dressing room to take peaks?
Me: Nope.
I kissed him on his nose. Damn he's perfect. Mike took a rock and skipped it halfway across the lake. Damn I better get my maternity lingerie out. I took a rock and skipped it a couple of feet behind his.
Mike: You better pay up.
Me: Nah ugh uh. Not in public you get a private showing of the one and only Sandy.
Mike: Does this mean I get to spend the night?
Me: What do you think?
We both inched closer. I could smell his Hollister Laguna Beach cologne. We leaned in and our lips met. We made out for about 15 minutes.
Me: What do you think the answer is?
Mike: I take that as a yes.
He kissed me and grabbed my hand.
Mike: Come on I don't want to be late for my strip tease.
I got up and we walked back holding hands. My heart fluttered like a butterfly. I'm falling for him. Hard. And it feels great.
<333 Sandy

Me and Mike in front of my house <3

Found The Right One

I marched over to Kitty's apartment. My heels making that irritating click-clack sound. Well the pills did it I weigh 125 pounds and still gaining weight. You can defintely see me baby bump. -.- I opened the door to find Two-Bit laying on the couch in nothing but boxers. His hand down his pants and watching Mickey Mouse.
Me: God Two-Bit want to interest in a pair of I don't know pants?
Two-Bit: God Sandy ever heard of knocking?
Me: Nah overrated.
I click-clacked into Kitty's bedroom. I shook Kitty.
Me: Get up.
Kitty groaned.
Me: I said get the fuck up.
I started pulling her out of bed. She grabbed onto the metal posts.
Me: Kitty please.
She groaned. I laid down next to her. I pushed her out of bed.
Kitty: You got me I'm up.
Me: Come on get changed.
Kitty: Fuck you.
Kitty sleep walked over to her closet and pulled on a pair of shorts.
Kitty: I fuckin hate you.
Me: I really feel the love.
We got into my car and drove to our prison. Kitty fiddled around with the radio. We pulled up to our prison. I climbed out of the car with my back killing me with so much weight I'm carrying. Kitty sleepily climbed out. We walked into the room. A stick thin blonde lady flashed us such a false smile. We sat down on two stools as we looked at all the stick thin people around us.
Kelly: Well let's start with introductions. Your full name, what you will like to be called, a little about yourself.
She pointed a bony manicured finger at Kitty.
Kitty: Well hi I'm KitKat Sarah Curtis.
Everyone: Hiii KitKat.
Kitty glared at everyone.
Kitty: I would like to be called Kitty. Or whatever the fuck you want. I'm 18 years old. I have 3 siblings. Darry he is like twenty something. I really don't know or nor do I care. I have a 19 year old brother Sodapop, and I have a 16 year old brother Ponyboy.
Kelly: So Kitty why are you here?
Kitty: She dragged me here.
Kitty pointed at me. I felt like cracking up.
Me: Hi I'm Samantha Quinn Davis.
Everyone: Hiiiii Samantha.
Kitty cracked up like Samantha was the funniest name she ever heard. I got it legally changed so in your fuckin face Kitty.
Me: I like being called Sandy. I got my name legally changed to that. I'm 19 years old. Uhm yeah I have 5 siblings. Mark is 25, Leah is 21, Lexie is 16, Hannah is 16, and Adam is 16. I also have a daughter, Danielle.
Kelly: Uhm wow. How old were you when you had her?
Me: Uhm I was in my junior year. I was 16.
Kelly: And are you pregnant now?
Me: Yes I'm 3 almost 4 months pregnant with twins.
Kelly: Well congratulations.
I should have said no are you calling me fat bitch? Everyone did their intros.
Kelly: So Sandy why are you here?
Me: I started being bulimic at 15. I was a model I quit as soon as I got pregnant. I did lingerie, bikinis, and normal clothes. I was just pressured to be skinny then became bulimic. I've had a couple of scares before. Like in the hospital. Everyone thought I was going to die.
Kelly: Did you stop being bulimic when you got pregnant?
Me: First or second time?
Kelly: Both.
Me: No.
Kitty didn't say a word. We wrote notes saying that you're beautiful and all of that shit. Kitty drew a drawing of Kelly with a knife in her head. As soon as we were dimissed Kitty sprinted out of the room. I threw her my keys and she bolted to the car. I slumped my tote bag over my shoulder. My dress swayed against my knees. You could barely tell I'm pregnant in this. That lady must have a 6th sense or something. I bumped into a gorgeous guy. Beyond muscular, shaggy hair, and eyes that you fall in love with.
Mike: Shit I'm so sorry.
Me: It's okay really.
He helped me pick up my shit off the floor.
Mike: So what's your name?
Me: Sandy. You?
Mike: Mike. So why are you here?
Me: Bulimics anonymous.
Mike: Oh really? I'm picking my sister up from that right now.
Me: Cool.
Mike: I'm sorry if this sounds too forward or cheesy. But like you're one of the most prettiest girls I've ever laid eyes on. Would you go out with me tonight?
Me: Yeah I'd like that. Here's my number.
Mike: I'll pick you up at 7.
I flashed a smile and skipped away to pissed off Kitty. I dropped Kitty off at her apartment. I went back home spent time with Danielle. Baked cookies. Ate. Slept. I got ready for my date. I searched through my closet and found my light blue strapless dress. It compliments my eyes. :D. I did my make up and flipped my hair. The doorbell rang and I went into Mike's car.
Me: There's something you should know about me.
Mike: What?
Me: I'm pregnant.
Mike: What you mean like you have a boyfriend, fiancee, or husband.
Me: Nope. I mean my married ex knocked me up.
Mike: Listen it's okay. I like you that's all that matters.
We pulled up to the French restaurant. We ordered our food.
Me: So where do you live?
Mike: I just moved from Florida.
Me: Really I lived in Boca. Then Miami.
Mike: Really I lived in Miami too.
I love him. After we ate we kissed. And kissed. And kissed some more. He pulled up to my house.
Mike: I know we only had one date but I really REALLY like you.
Me: Me too.
Mike: Promise me we will do this again tomorrow?
Me: You got my word on that.
I gave him a good night kiss and went into the house.  I squealed in delight. I really like him I feel the thing I had with Soda and Sam. And baby it feels soooo good. I think he is the right one for sure.

He is the 4th one the one with the shaggy hair.