Someone Who Finally Understands

Kitty stared at me. She ran her fingers through her hair. The only sounds there were was the cackling fire.
Me: Kitty come on tell me what's bothering you.
She had her head between her knees. She looked up at me her eyes glowing with tears.
Kitty: I just can't. I can't control it. At first it was just to make myself look better. Now...
Me: You still have an eating disorder?
Kitty: Yes. I weighed 110. Now I weigh 87. My bones are bulging out of my skin. I don't have time to eat. You know I actually want to graduate high school and go to college?
Me: I would know the feeling..
Kitty: Then why didn't you stay in?
I sighed. No one ever talked to me about why I dropped out.
Me: Well I have a daughter. I can't be that big of a multitasker. And I got to the point where a I really didn't give a fuck and b the only reason why I wanted to graduate was in had cheerleading scholarships. Then Danielle came... Hey this isn't my session it's yours.
Kitty: Yeah. I've just been depressed lately. I feel like I have to watch Two-Bit more closely since he cheated on me. With the wedding coming up. I feel pressured to look so fuckin skinny. Love sucks.
She threw a rock into the fire.
Me: You got that right. I've only been in love twice. I broke their hearts. Guys are so
fucking confusing! And if Two-Bit doesn't like the way you look fuck him.
She starred at me blankly. Her mouth wide open.
Kitty: How did you just... stop?
Me: Truth is I never stopped. I try but I can't stop. I didn't become bulimic for Soda. He
thought I looked sexy in his DX shirt or in a pair of ratty sweats. I wish I had a time
machine to just tell me I look beautiful enough. I lived my whole sophomore/ junior year fat.
Kitty you weigh 87 pounds that's not so bad! Heck I weigh even less! Kitty you're beautiful
just the way you are. Don't let an eating disorder stop you from living your life. I let it
rule mine and it's horrible.
Kitty: What don't you understand I'm as worse as you! No matter how picture perfect lives
might seem they are even more fucked up. It's just... UGH!
I took a deep breath as I let Kitty calm herself. I reached into my jacket pocket. I found 2
bottles of pills. Weight gain shit and prenatal shit. I popped 2 of each in my mouth. Kitty
sat there crying.
Kitty: I'm such a fuckin wimp!
She wiped her tears off.
Me: No you're not everyone has to cry.
Kitty: Coming from the girl who cried when she couldn't make a fire and flipped the shit when
I couldn't fix the car. AND you had a crowbar near my head when I couldn't fix the god damn
car.
Me: Hey I have my moments.
Kitty: More like you're a hormonal bitch. You're even worse then Blair.
Me: Is that an insult? If you want to see a hormonal bitch you will see one in 2 seconds when I get that crowbar out.
Kitty laughed.
Kitty: Everyone is excepting me to solve their problems. And I have my own. Two-Bit says
everything is okay between us but it's not. If everything was okay he wouldn't cheat on me. I
don't know if I have second thoughts or whatever.
Me: Hmmmm... Fuck him then we should get married instead. Screw Two-Bit.
Kitty laughed she came over.
Kitty: Okay. Whatever you say. But if we are married I get to be the baby daddy.
I gave her a playful shove. At least she's laughing instead of crying.
Kitty: Just tell me. Why did you become bulimic?
Me: My mom was a manipulative bitch. At 15 she forced me to do modeling. Good bye dark
highlights. She forced all of us to model. Well except Mark and Adam. I had to model normal
clothes, lingerie, and bikinis. At a Victoria's Secret catalog shoot. I was in nothing but a
push up bra and a thong. I had a D chest. Real boobs not the fake ones like all the models
had. I took a bottle of Diet Coke off the table. All the models were making fun of me calling
me fat and shit. Theye even were poking my stomach as if I was the Pillsbury Doughboy. They weighed like 80 pounds. I weighed 110. After that I just started being bulimic. And you can't
just wake up one day and stop. I try to hide that I'm over it because I'm pregnant. And it's
one of the ways I deal with stress. I just found out that the baby is Soda's not Sam's. I went
to the hospital last week and made Doctor Winston do the DNA test. It's Soda's.
Kitty: Well I'm going to become an aunt.
I wanted to bitch slap her. As if I'm happy that I'm pregnant by my ex! I went to the truck and grabbed some of my clothes, my makeup bag, and my hair stuff. I picked out blue and black polka dot pants, white tank top, and black slippers.
Me: How the hell did you sneak into my house with out getting caught? You know we gave guns? And you don't want to see me with one. Cuz I shot Adam in the leg by accident. And I shot Lexie in the foot.
Kitty: Oh it was quite easy. Your brunette sister was with Danielle and I just snuck around the back. I love your room though.
Me: Stalker much?
I grabbed a couple of ugly clothes. For pillows for me and Kitty. We laid down.
Kitty: Do you still love Soda?
Me: I loved him. I have strong feelings for him but I don't love him. I'm the one that broke up with him remember?
Kitty: Yeah... Jelly hates you because Soda left her for you.
Me: Good to know?
I reached into my pocket looking for my phone. No cell service.
Me: What happens if we die out here?
Kitty: Then I died with my wife.
I laughed.
Me: Good night wifey.